its hard to see life changing cos it happens every day in small bits, bt reading ur old diary nd blog that covers like half a decade is the biggest shock ever.
i never got it, how people thought my life was interesting or exciting. i think the everyday dullness of my life made it entertaining for the people reading this blog. i got a bit freaked out last summer by someone, who after giving me the worst advice ever to try and fuck things up for me, decided to turn up at my old work to try nd stalk me or something. fml just my luck to get a fat bald smelly stalker, where are all the hot bieber lookalike stalkers who are addicted to raping their victims?!
i stopped posting often about a year ago, but didnt stop writing. 141 unpublished.
i did a bad thing last year, that has changed my life in a way i never thought possible. the thing i released this morning is that deep down i dont really think what i did was *that* bad. this realisation is like ive found the forget it and move on switch inside my head.
Wednesday, 21 September 2011
Thursday, 17 February 2011
pretty good
thanx for all the emails. im not dead or anything lol.
life is pretty good atm, working for frank again, and me nd sops are lookn at renting a flat in oxford. prob end up on blackbird leys cos everything near me is well expensive. but will be well good. not told dad nd val cos think they will think im rushing in to things but i love sops to bits nd we are well besties :)
so much has happened to me since the summer and its like my life now is nothing like my old one. thinking about blogging properly again but im not gonna lie, its sorta been nice not having to think about blogging. but then some days i miss it loads, and u guys are great cos u all email me to check im ok and stuff.
for ages i wantd a boyfriend more than anything in the world. but ben hurt me a lot cos he lied about a lot of stuff about his life and then i found out hes done porn and everything and it just made me feel shit. just felt weird knowing thousands of ppl have seen him naked and it just feels like its not special for us. he is propr wrong in the head nd even tho we are friends a bit i dont see him that often.
em has had an abortion even tho they all think i do know, i do cos i saw the letter and it nearly caused them to split up cos matt hates stuff like that. so much shit happening in this house no wonder i want to leave.
life is pretty good atm, working for frank again, and me nd sops are lookn at renting a flat in oxford. prob end up on blackbird leys cos everything near me is well expensive. but will be well good. not told dad nd val cos think they will think im rushing in to things but i love sops to bits nd we are well besties :)
so much has happened to me since the summer and its like my life now is nothing like my old one. thinking about blogging properly again but im not gonna lie, its sorta been nice not having to think about blogging. but then some days i miss it loads, and u guys are great cos u all email me to check im ok and stuff.
for ages i wantd a boyfriend more than anything in the world. but ben hurt me a lot cos he lied about a lot of stuff about his life and then i found out hes done porn and everything and it just made me feel shit. just felt weird knowing thousands of ppl have seen him naked and it just feels like its not special for us. he is propr wrong in the head nd even tho we are friends a bit i dont see him that often.
em has had an abortion even tho they all think i do know, i do cos i saw the letter and it nearly caused them to split up cos matt hates stuff like that. so much shit happening in this house no wonder i want to leave.
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