had a well freaky evening yesterady, went in to oxford with sops and we met up with ben. all in mcd and we were just about to go when omg alex came in, he looked striaght thru me even tho i sorta waved. totally ignored me bt the weird thing is it actually didnt bother me that much. sops was like 'JOSH!!!! thats him isnt it?' cos ive told her evertyhing that happened and what i did, and i was just like ermmmmm and tryn to give her a weird look to stop her saying any mroe stuff cos didnt want ben to know or him to think i didnt like him or i like someone else.
was a bit glad alex as on his own, he sat like as far away from us as possible, and facing the wall a bit. hes got new friends as well cos he met up with 2 ppl, they were both well fit, nd that sorta made me a bit jealous but i just stopped thinking about it, and looked at ben, cos omg hes well more fit and hot than them.
sops got picked up then was just me and ben, nd we went for starbucks and i had a white mocca and he had coffee caramel frap. how gay lol. we shared each others drinks which was really nice nd made me get propr hard. went to the toilet nd id even precumd a bit lol. im a weirdo cos probably no one else in the world would get hard over sharing a frappuccino.
he drove me home nd we were sat in his car for a few mins, got a bit arkward and omg he put his hand on my knee made me jump a bit cos i wasnt expecting it nd all i could think about was kissing him nd my cock was twitching like it was about to jizz lol then matt nd em had to ruin it all and parked behind us and came up to the car nd em is like 'what you doin boys?' nd then she laughed before we said anything and said 'each other' really loud to matt. well embarrassing. sorta had to go in the house then with them and say bye to ben which was weirdly awkward. fml.
dad and val were out so gutted em and matt came home cos i well wanted him to come in for a bit.
stayed up until nearly 2 texting. dont even know what about, just random stuff and like he pays me compliments all the time nd makes me feel well nice. he said if he has to wait another week before meeting up again hes gonna come and stalk me :p
Showing posts with label alex. Show all posts
Showing posts with label alex. Show all posts
Tuesday, 2 November 2010
Thursday, 30 September 2010
new number
got a text from alex today saying hes got a new number. prolly sent it to everyone but its the first thing ive head from him for nearly 2 months :/ really wanna reply but dont know what to put. he obv hasnt deleted me from his iphone bt he could have sent it by accident if he sent it to everyone. i dont know what to do!?!?!? fml
been seeing jamie loads, and hes just started working in oxford now, so went to kfc yesterday and monday at lunch. his mum is moving to spain cos shes gonna be running a bar. he said he wont miss her but i know he will. even ill sorta miss her lol.
the ppl on my course are ok, made a well good friend called sophie who knows im gay bt not really told anyone else, bt also not trying to hide it. and think sops has told a coulpe of ppl, and im happy with it. that prob makes no sense lol.
not been to councilling this week cos told dad i had some group work to do. tried to get served in copa with sops but i got IDd and she didnt!!! ffs. its cos shes fit and looks older and the bar man blates wanted to fuck her lol.
sorta been avoiding nicholas cos i dont know what dad has said to him, and hes not asked me to look after dolce and pepsi for ages. he obs knows i dont work for frank anymore. fml. dad is such a controlling bastard hes tried to ruin my life seriously. sops came over last night nd i cooked her an egg sandwich :) she said im a domestic god lol. dad was like jizzing in his pants cos he prob thinks ive turned normal again, nd cos he blates wants to do her haha. she is well fit. i wanted matt to meet her but they were out.
just lazing tonight and reading old texts from alex :/
been seeing jamie loads, and hes just started working in oxford now, so went to kfc yesterday and monday at lunch. his mum is moving to spain cos shes gonna be running a bar. he said he wont miss her but i know he will. even ill sorta miss her lol.
the ppl on my course are ok, made a well good friend called sophie who knows im gay bt not really told anyone else, bt also not trying to hide it. and think sops has told a coulpe of ppl, and im happy with it. that prob makes no sense lol.
not been to councilling this week cos told dad i had some group work to do. tried to get served in copa with sops but i got IDd and she didnt!!! ffs. its cos shes fit and looks older and the bar man blates wanted to fuck her lol.
sorta been avoiding nicholas cos i dont know what dad has said to him, and hes not asked me to look after dolce and pepsi for ages. he obs knows i dont work for frank anymore. fml. dad is such a controlling bastard hes tried to ruin my life seriously. sops came over last night nd i cooked her an egg sandwich :) she said im a domestic god lol. dad was like jizzing in his pants cos he prob thinks ive turned normal again, nd cos he blates wants to do her haha. she is well fit. i wanted matt to meet her but they were out.
just lazing tonight and reading old texts from alex :/
Wednesday, 8 September 2010
(29) days of summer
got like 999999 messages from u guys, nd i know theres loads i havent replied to, but i read them all, nd it sorta makes me feel nice that there are so many ppl that think about me and want me to be happy.
so much stuff has happened this summer and its been the hardest thing ever in my life. ive still been blogging most days but im not yet ready to press 'publish'. ive felt so sad its made me vom, ive not been eating or sleeping properly and i propr look like a druggie smack head.
basically alex isnt gay and he told his mum everything and she phoned dad about me. he knows everything and thinks its just a phase and im not really gay. ive been to a counsellor to talk and it was ok, but now ive got to start going every week. hes hardly saying much to me but is treating me differently and said i cant have my toothbrush in the cabinet next to theirs :( he prob thinks ive got aids or something just from thinking about getting bummed.
ffs he told matt and em everything as well, so they propr think im a perv and a freak :-( matt has talked to me loads tho and he told me on sunday night that he always sorta knew and that i should be gay if i want to be and not let anyone persuade me to be striaght. i dont know anymore and i just feel shit and dad is giving me stress about carrying on the family surname and saying how upset mum would have been :-(
ive not spoken to alex for 29 days cos his mum told me he will contact me again when hes ready and that he was bullied at his old school for 2 years cos people called him gay and hes not actually gay.
starting at college doing a diploma in information technology and guess its a new start, nd think thats what i need. dad made me leave my job with frank but ive applied at some shops. got fit new hair today in brothers, and matt bought me some new jeans and two tops for college, new me :)
ive ignored my friends all summer cos of this and they prob all hate me.
sorry if ive dissapointed u guys as well as everyone else :/
joshxx
so much stuff has happened this summer and its been the hardest thing ever in my life. ive still been blogging most days but im not yet ready to press 'publish'. ive felt so sad its made me vom, ive not been eating or sleeping properly and i propr look like a druggie smack head.
basically alex isnt gay and he told his mum everything and she phoned dad about me. he knows everything and thinks its just a phase and im not really gay. ive been to a counsellor to talk and it was ok, but now ive got to start going every week. hes hardly saying much to me but is treating me differently and said i cant have my toothbrush in the cabinet next to theirs :( he prob thinks ive got aids or something just from thinking about getting bummed.
ffs he told matt and em everything as well, so they propr think im a perv and a freak :-( matt has talked to me loads tho and he told me on sunday night that he always sorta knew and that i should be gay if i want to be and not let anyone persuade me to be striaght. i dont know anymore and i just feel shit and dad is giving me stress about carrying on the family surname and saying how upset mum would have been :-(
ive not spoken to alex for 29 days cos his mum told me he will contact me again when hes ready and that he was bullied at his old school for 2 years cos people called him gay and hes not actually gay.
starting at college doing a diploma in information technology and guess its a new start, nd think thats what i need. dad made me leave my job with frank but ive applied at some shops. got fit new hair today in brothers, and matt bought me some new jeans and two tops for college, new me :)
ive ignored my friends all summer cos of this and they prob all hate me.
sorry if ive dissapointed u guys as well as everyone else :/
joshxx
Sunday, 15 August 2010
your love is my drug
this is the worst summer ever just hate my life nd nothing is going right anymore.
my best friend hates me nd wont even txt me, nd then after 6 days just sends me an email saying he wants his soul cal hoody back and all his dvds.
dunno what to do with my life cos this hurts so much nd i want him back even if its just as a normal friend. if i could have one thing in the world it would be him.
so upset nd no one uderstands. em thinks im stupid nd dad told her hes worred ive tried drugs. your love is my drug.
my best friend hates me nd wont even txt me, nd then after 6 days just sends me an email saying he wants his soul cal hoody back and all his dvds.
dunno what to do with my life cos this hurts so much nd i want him back even if its just as a normal friend. if i could have one thing in the world it would be him.
so upset nd no one uderstands. em thinks im stupid nd dad told her hes worred ive tried drugs. your love is my drug.
Thursday, 5 August 2010
lazy
dad has been in liverpool today nd he set off at 5 bt hes still not back!!!! val is stressing me out cos she keeps coming up nd asking if i want stuff, like a drink, or food, ffs its my house nd shes the guest it should be me askn her if she wants stuff!!!
bored now bt dont want to go downstairs nd watch tv cos its just too weird just sat with her nd having random convos :-/
alex has done new fb pics nd hes wearing my bench tshirt :-P he looks soooo hot. i like it when he wears my stuff, nd i love wearing his stuff sooo much. esp if i can sorta smell him a bit. horny :-P
hes not doin anything tonight bt doesnt want to come over, he said he just wants a lazy night in :-( well shuldnt whinge cos saw him on tuesday nd went to see inception AGAIN nd then went out last night as well. i wish he liked me as much as i like him :-/
bored now bt dont want to go downstairs nd watch tv cos its just too weird just sat with her nd having random convos :-/
alex has done new fb pics nd hes wearing my bench tshirt :-P he looks soooo hot. i like it when he wears my stuff, nd i love wearing his stuff sooo much. esp if i can sorta smell him a bit. horny :-P
hes not doin anything tonight bt doesnt want to come over, he said he just wants a lazy night in :-( well shuldnt whinge cos saw him on tuesday nd went to see inception AGAIN nd then went out last night as well. i wish he liked me as much as i like him :-/
Monday, 2 August 2010
maize maze
didnt see alex all wkend, cos he was at his dads nd so only saw him for like 45 mins on friday night after id finished work :-( hes back today tho so gonna meet up later. hes getn his hair cut in brothers nd he asked if i wanna go with him. gay lol. bt id go with him anywhere cos i just like spending any time with him :-)
went to leamington spa yesterday to see family. me, matt and em went to a maze that was made out of maize lol. it was gd, but soooo hot. me nd matt took our tops off nd i was walking in front nd i kept turning around to look at his hot bod :-P
took like 2 hours to find our way out, em was too tight to buy a map for £1, so we did it the hard way. two well fit american or canadian twins that we kept bumping into, omg nearly cumd in my pants they were so hot. their accents make me melt <3
on the way back em wouldnt let me in matts car so i had to go back with dad and val. she was propr stressn me out nd kept talkn to me nd dad made me turn my ipod off nd nearly killed us on the motorway cos he was tryn to tell me off. what a twat.
had chinese last night nd jesus i propr nearly died when val actually got some money out to pay!! prob dad gave it to her when i wasnt looking. wish id have ordered more haha
went to leamington spa yesterday to see family. me, matt and em went to a maze that was made out of maize lol. it was gd, but soooo hot. me nd matt took our tops off nd i was walking in front nd i kept turning around to look at his hot bod :-P
took like 2 hours to find our way out, em was too tight to buy a map for £1, so we did it the hard way. two well fit american or canadian twins that we kept bumping into, omg nearly cumd in my pants they were so hot. their accents make me melt <3
on the way back em wouldnt let me in matts car so i had to go back with dad and val. she was propr stressn me out nd kept talkn to me nd dad made me turn my ipod off nd nearly killed us on the motorway cos he was tryn to tell me off. what a twat.
had chinese last night nd jesus i propr nearly died when val actually got some money out to pay!! prob dad gave it to her when i wasnt looking. wish id have ordered more haha
Tuesday, 27 July 2010
own keys
nik came over last night cos he wanted to borrow our wii controller, thought he would stay for a bit bd he went after like 10 mins. RUDE!! hed got fake tan on nd it looked propr shit nd a bit orange lol. didnt say anything bt propr lol'd in my pants when hed gone. what a gay!!!!
hes havin a party at end of aug nd said ive got to tweet about it cos not enough ppl are goin yet. he said to get jamie to come nd i said ill ask alex nd hes like alex is already coming hes makin the best ever playlist. sorta got me a bit pissd off that alex knew about it before me nd never said anything :-/
FFS this takes the piss!!!! sounded like dad was home so went downstairs to see why he was back already nd val is there goin 'hello josh' nd smiling at me. ffs no wonder shes smiling if shes got her own keys!!!!! ffs when was he gonna ask me nd em if she could just have her own keys nd just walk in. i could have been naked or anything.
hes havin a party at end of aug nd said ive got to tweet about it cos not enough ppl are goin yet. he said to get jamie to come nd i said ill ask alex nd hes like alex is already coming hes makin the best ever playlist. sorta got me a bit pissd off that alex knew about it before me nd never said anything :-/
FFS this takes the piss!!!! sounded like dad was home so went downstairs to see why he was back already nd val is there goin 'hello josh' nd smiling at me. ffs no wonder shes smiling if shes got her own keys!!!!! ffs when was he gonna ask me nd em if she could just have her own keys nd just walk in. i could have been naked or anything.
Sunday, 25 July 2010
again tonight
well gd weekend with alex, stayed at his for 2 nights. his mum said i could stay again tonight bt dad wanted me to come home :-( dunno why cos now hes gone to toot baldon with val. ffs so home alone cos em nd matt arent back.
stayed up til 5 on friday!!!!!! it was fully light nd we were tryn to get to sleep lol. slept on the floor next to his bed, bt we had been laid on his bed for like 4 hours anyway just talking about random stuff nd watchn tv. we slept until about half 3 in the afternoon when his mum came back from shopn nd then she did us a well good breakfast with bacon, sausage, beans and toast.
didnt do that much on sat, tried to get served in tesco lol bt waste of time nd well embarrassing. prob easier to steal vodka than it is to buy it lol. waited outside for ages to see if we could get someone to buy it for us bt just bottled out of askn anyone.
walked back nd then it was sorta a bit arkward nd weird cos i was sorta a bit bored bt couldnt think of anything to say. nd then i was just about to say about goin home nd hes like 'wanna stay again tonight?' omg got hard haha, phoned dad nd he said yes!!! he had a shower nd didnt fully shut the door bt couldnt really see bt could hear the water nd kept sounding like he was wanking lol. he prob wasnt, but i was :-P spunked in like 1 minute lol, str into my pants lol.
when i showered i left the door open even more to see if he would come in, bt he didnt. did get to wear some of his undies nd a well nice white firetrap tshirt. even tho it was clean, sorta smelled of him nd it was nice.
watched a well random weird movie called mum & dad, nd my leg was touching him for like 2 hours. was hard for ages nd think he saw it bt didnt look like he was hard :-( hope he doesnt think i got hard at the weird shit in the film cos it was just freaky.
stayed up til 5 on friday!!!!!! it was fully light nd we were tryn to get to sleep lol. slept on the floor next to his bed, bt we had been laid on his bed for like 4 hours anyway just talking about random stuff nd watchn tv. we slept until about half 3 in the afternoon when his mum came back from shopn nd then she did us a well good breakfast with bacon, sausage, beans and toast.
didnt do that much on sat, tried to get served in tesco lol bt waste of time nd well embarrassing. prob easier to steal vodka than it is to buy it lol. waited outside for ages to see if we could get someone to buy it for us bt just bottled out of askn anyone.
walked back nd then it was sorta a bit arkward nd weird cos i was sorta a bit bored bt couldnt think of anything to say. nd then i was just about to say about goin home nd hes like 'wanna stay again tonight?' omg got hard haha, phoned dad nd he said yes!!! he had a shower nd didnt fully shut the door bt couldnt really see bt could hear the water nd kept sounding like he was wanking lol. he prob wasnt, but i was :-P spunked in like 1 minute lol, str into my pants lol.
when i showered i left the door open even more to see if he would come in, bt he didnt. did get to wear some of his undies nd a well nice white firetrap tshirt. even tho it was clean, sorta smelled of him nd it was nice.
watched a well random weird movie called mum & dad, nd my leg was touching him for like 2 hours. was hard for ages nd think he saw it bt didnt look like he was hard :-( hope he doesnt think i got hard at the weird shit in the film cos it was just freaky.
Friday, 23 July 2010
propr horny
waiting for dad to come back to get a lift cos meeting alex :-) been txtn all day at work, frank was in a meetn so everyone was taking the piss nd not doin work lol. he even bought us donuts cos he thought we had all been workn well hard lol funny
we are gonna get takeaway nd watch movies at his. i said id pay cos i thought i got paid today but its NEXT WEEK!!! so gotta try nd get money from dad cos ill look a well twat now :-/
hes not said about stayin over bt he knows ive not got work tmrw, so im taking clothes anyway :-D not wanked today cos got up late so will prob be propr horny tonight nd will get hard well easy if he does or says anything.
well excited hope his mum goes out :-P
we are gonna get takeaway nd watch movies at his. i said id pay cos i thought i got paid today but its NEXT WEEK!!! so gotta try nd get money from dad cos ill look a well twat now :-/
hes not said about stayin over bt he knows ive not got work tmrw, so im taking clothes anyway :-D not wanked today cos got up late so will prob be propr horny tonight nd will get hard well easy if he does or says anything.
well excited hope his mum goes out :-P
Wednesday, 21 July 2010
password
bored again today :-( told kaytee nd nik i didnt wanna go out today, nd just made excuses, cos i thought id see alex nd wanted us to do something on our own. he went to his dads yesterday, nd even tho he said hed be back hes stayed over :-( ffs hes just had like 2 weeks on holiday with hin, whys he wanna go nd stay with him already!!!!! hes txt this morn nd said hes def back tmrw, bt ive got work so wont be able to see him until the evening :-(
got a bit paranoid nd tried to guess the password on alexs gmail. feel bad now even tho i didnt get in. just feel a bit like he could be laying about goin to his dads, even tho i know hes prob not.
dont want another day sat up here on the internet all day wanking. soooooooo boring.
gonna go nd see if nicholas is in.
got a bit paranoid nd tried to guess the password on alexs gmail. feel bad now even tho i didnt get in. just feel a bit like he could be laying about goin to his dads, even tho i know hes prob not.
dont want another day sat up here on the internet all day wanking. soooooooo boring.
gonna go nd see if nicholas is in.
Monday, 19 July 2010
holiday sex
had an amazing day yest!!!! alex txt me at 720 which woke me up nd put 'fancy mcd? alexx'. well made me happy nd even tho i was propr tired i got up nd got ready nd was sorta walkn around the house just excited to meet up. they had to wait for ages for their bags, nd didnt get back in oxford until like half 9. dad drove me to his nd then we walkd back in to oxford. when he saw me he was walkn towards the car nd i could see him smiling nd it made me smile :-) i think if dad had have just drove off isnt of tryn to ask him about the holiday he would have maybe given me a hug.
he talked like non stop until we got to mc d. i bought him food nd he said thanks nd sorta put his arm on my hand. id pay for his food everday forever if he touchd my arm. know its mental bt it got me rock hard in like 1 second. when we were waitin i was sorta leaning on the counter to try nd press it down cos it was well obvious. it hadnt gone down fully nd we were walkn to sit in the window nd some girls came in from the year below who we sorta know nd they were like lookn at my cock nd then whispering to each other nd pointing :-/ went really red nd hot nd then it went down. argh. what a twat :-S
stayed in oxf for a bit, was well busy nd then we went nd sat by the river nd i wantd to ask why hes been weird nd why hed ignored me bt i got scared cos didnt wanna ruin the day nd piss him off :-S arghh. we talkd about random crap nd then more about his hols. he showed me some pics on his iphone nd it did look well nice. its weird how his dad goes with them even tho they split up ages ago. i asked him if he got any holiday sex nd he just laughd nd said yeah loads, bt did the wanking thing with his hand in my face lol. wish he actually would do that in my face. bt i think that means he didnt get any sex anyway lol.
went back to mine cos just got tired of walkn around, nd we watched peep show on 4od in my room. seen it a million times bt i didnt mind cos i know he loves it. i wanted to move closer to him but not be gay, nd so moved my leg to touch his leg. he didnt say anything so i left it there for a few mins, nd sorta touched his foot a bit with my foot. he didnt do anything back nd then a well funny bit was on peep show where super hans is smoking crack at a wedding, nd alex propr loves it bt he wasnt sayn anything or laughing nd i sat up nd omg he was propr asleep lol. pulln a weird face with his mouth open lol, bt he still looked fit :-P
i laid back down nd more on my side, got well close nd could feel the heat from his bod. got rock hard nd it was pushing on the side of his leg, i just closed my eyes for like a minute nd could feel my heart beating well fast nd sorta hear it beating in my mouth. was soooo hard thought i was gonna cum :-S he moved a tiny bit nd his arm moved off his leg nd touched my leg. omg i propr nearly spunked lol. wanted to kiss him so bad, nd was thinking what to do next, bt then felt all weird nd guilty nd felt bad liked id sorta raped him cos he was asleep nd i shouldnt have pushd my cock onto him :-S i just moved away nd sat up, turned peep show really low so it didnt wake him up. felt a bit bad, nd just paranoid in case he knew what i was doin. didnt sit next to him again, just sat on my chair with my feet on the bed, nd then just watched him for ages. not in a weird way lol.
he talked like non stop until we got to mc d. i bought him food nd he said thanks nd sorta put his arm on my hand. id pay for his food everday forever if he touchd my arm. know its mental bt it got me rock hard in like 1 second. when we were waitin i was sorta leaning on the counter to try nd press it down cos it was well obvious. it hadnt gone down fully nd we were walkn to sit in the window nd some girls came in from the year below who we sorta know nd they were like lookn at my cock nd then whispering to each other nd pointing :-/ went really red nd hot nd then it went down. argh. what a twat :-S
stayed in oxf for a bit, was well busy nd then we went nd sat by the river nd i wantd to ask why hes been weird nd why hed ignored me bt i got scared cos didnt wanna ruin the day nd piss him off :-S arghh. we talkd about random crap nd then more about his hols. he showed me some pics on his iphone nd it did look well nice. its weird how his dad goes with them even tho they split up ages ago. i asked him if he got any holiday sex nd he just laughd nd said yeah loads, bt did the wanking thing with his hand in my face lol. wish he actually would do that in my face. bt i think that means he didnt get any sex anyway lol.
went back to mine cos just got tired of walkn around, nd we watched peep show on 4od in my room. seen it a million times bt i didnt mind cos i know he loves it. i wanted to move closer to him but not be gay, nd so moved my leg to touch his leg. he didnt say anything so i left it there for a few mins, nd sorta touched his foot a bit with my foot. he didnt do anything back nd then a well funny bit was on peep show where super hans is smoking crack at a wedding, nd alex propr loves it bt he wasnt sayn anything or laughing nd i sat up nd omg he was propr asleep lol. pulln a weird face with his mouth open lol, bt he still looked fit :-P
i laid back down nd more on my side, got well close nd could feel the heat from his bod. got rock hard nd it was pushing on the side of his leg, i just closed my eyes for like a minute nd could feel my heart beating well fast nd sorta hear it beating in my mouth. was soooo hard thought i was gonna cum :-S he moved a tiny bit nd his arm moved off his leg nd touched my leg. omg i propr nearly spunked lol. wanted to kiss him so bad, nd was thinking what to do next, bt then felt all weird nd guilty nd felt bad liked id sorta raped him cos he was asleep nd i shouldnt have pushd my cock onto him :-S i just moved away nd sat up, turned peep show really low so it didnt wake him up. felt a bit bad, nd just paranoid in case he knew what i was doin. didnt sit next to him again, just sat on my chair with my feet on the bed, nd then just watched him for ages. not in a weird way lol.
Tuesday, 13 July 2010
ducks
been to feed the cats this morning nd nicholas left a well funny note, he says hes getn a few ducks but it looked like dicks lol :-P hope he wants me to feed them cos i like ducks and i like money :-D hope pepsi doesnt try and attack them or anything cos he is a bit violent lol
meetin up with kaytee nd jess today, they want to take me shopn. how gay lol. hope they dont want me to help them pick clothes nd stuff. we are gonna have lunch in quod nd she put 'your treat' bt they can fuck off if they think im paying! jess kept tryn me to get jamie to come bt he said no, nd she thinks i havent even asked. why doesnt she just ask if she wants him to come with us ffs girls are mental.
alex sent a pic of the pool at their apartment yesterday nd i could see a bit of his legs in the pic nd i was lookn at it for like an hour cos couldnt sleep last night, nd then i sorta made me have a wet dream that woke me up at like 5 :-S grrrrr, wasnt even nice nd then just laid awake after, miss him so much <3 i sent him a pic of smoothie i made cos he likes stuff like that nd said id make one for him when hes back.
meetin up with kaytee nd jess today, they want to take me shopn. how gay lol. hope they dont want me to help them pick clothes nd stuff. we are gonna have lunch in quod nd she put 'your treat' bt they can fuck off if they think im paying! jess kept tryn me to get jamie to come bt he said no, nd she thinks i havent even asked. why doesnt she just ask if she wants him to come with us ffs girls are mental.
alex sent a pic of the pool at their apartment yesterday nd i could see a bit of his legs in the pic nd i was lookn at it for like an hour cos couldnt sleep last night, nd then i sorta made me have a wet dream that woke me up at like 5 :-S grrrrr, wasnt even nice nd then just laid awake after, miss him so much <3 i sent him a pic of smoothie i made cos he likes stuff like that nd said id make one for him when hes back.
Sunday, 11 July 2010
olds and gays
went to brighton yesterday with dad, val, matt and em. at first it was just meant to be us four nd dad said i could take someone so txtd nik to ask him then he shouts up val is coming now so no room for a mate, im like ffs!!! lucky nik couldnt cos i would have looked like a well messer. took ages to drive down, nd vals purfume nearly killed me in the car it was sooo strong nd i kept opening the window nd then em was stressn cos it was messin her hair up grrr.
we had a well good day tho, laid on the beach for ages getn a tan nd checkn out hot guys yum. there was a women next to us who got her massive tits out nd matt was like jizzin in his pants nd looking constantly, think she liked him looking tho lol, but em didnt haha. went in the sea with matt nd he kept tryn to hold me under bt im faster at swimming :-D em didnt go in the sea once nd was a bit moody. she was just reading a book and listening to MY ipod.
had fish nd chips but wasnt that hungry nd it was too hot to eat. got a £60 parking ticket when we went back to the car, had to listen to dad for like 2 hours whinging about it. ffs was seriously thinkn about giving him £60 just to shut up :-S
not doin much today, just lazin outside. dad wants me to cut the grass but its too hot to do anything, nd hes not offering money so no way lol.
been txtn alex again, nd told him about brighton he put 'brighton is for olds and gays lol' which i think is a bit true lol, bt he didnt say anything bad about gays.cant wait for him to come back now, hope he wants to do something when he gets back to ox.
we had a well good day tho, laid on the beach for ages getn a tan nd checkn out hot guys yum. there was a women next to us who got her massive tits out nd matt was like jizzin in his pants nd looking constantly, think she liked him looking tho lol, but em didnt haha. went in the sea with matt nd he kept tryn to hold me under bt im faster at swimming :-D em didnt go in the sea once nd was a bit moody. she was just reading a book and listening to MY ipod.
had fish nd chips but wasnt that hungry nd it was too hot to eat. got a £60 parking ticket when we went back to the car, had to listen to dad for like 2 hours whinging about it. ffs was seriously thinkn about giving him £60 just to shut up :-S
not doin much today, just lazin outside. dad wants me to cut the grass but its too hot to do anything, nd hes not offering money so no way lol.
been txtn alex again, nd told him about brighton he put 'brighton is for olds and gays lol' which i think is a bit true lol, bt he didnt say anything bad about gays.cant wait for him to come back now, hope he wants to do something when he gets back to ox.
Thursday, 8 July 2010
good mood
arghhh nothing to wear in im sooooo late. gonna have to wear shorts nd hope frank doesnt think im takin the piss. alex txt me 3 times in the night nd ive not got credit so cant txt back nd in his last txt he just put '?' nd its just made me upset :-(
matt is in a weird mood cos of em so gonna be awkward in the car :-S he just needs a nice wank to put him in a good mood lol.
hope work goes quick nd hope ppl actually talk to me :-/
matt is in a weird mood cos of em so gonna be awkward in the car :-S he just needs a nice wank to put him in a good mood lol.
hope work goes quick nd hope ppl actually talk to me :-/
Tuesday, 6 July 2010
rape me
stayed up until 1 txtn alex :-) it wasnt like a propr convo just like saying nice stuff to each other nd compliments nd stuff lol. it was a bit gay. ok it was a lot gay haha.
got up early so i didnt get stressed at, nd then when he went out went back to bed for a bit lol. been outside in the garden getn more of a tan. wanted jamie to come over bt he said hes ill. which prob means hes not got any money for the train nd he doesnt want to say.
bit bored nd so went thru my fone lookn for ppl to text. txt kaytee nd now she is coming over at 3 when she has finished work nd she is brining bex. she said they are gonna get me drunk nd then date rape me lol. im like 'good times lol' :-S hope she doesnt try touchn me up again cos its a bit awkward when i dont get hard :-/
got up early so i didnt get stressed at, nd then when he went out went back to bed for a bit lol. been outside in the garden getn more of a tan. wanted jamie to come over bt he said hes ill. which prob means hes not got any money for the train nd he doesnt want to say.
bit bored nd so went thru my fone lookn for ppl to text. txt kaytee nd now she is coming over at 3 when she has finished work nd she is brining bex. she said they are gonna get me drunk nd then date rape me lol. im like 'good times lol' :-S hope she doesnt try touchn me up again cos its a bit awkward when i dont get hard :-/
Monday, 5 July 2010
in love
went on friday to see izzy and george, nd we should have been coming back on saturday afternoon bt dad had been drinking nd wouldnt drive so we had to stay again until sunday :-( well annoying nd i asked matt if he would pick me up nd he said yes but then i got a well nasty text from em saying no they wouldnt come get me nd she called me a freak :-(
saturday was gd with izzy nd george cos theyve got a pool nd it was soooooo hot. had to wear some of georges swimmers cos forgot to bring some nd, nd he gave me like the tinyest ones ever was well embarrasing. the water was cold so atleast i didnt get hard lol. me nd izzy were sun bathing for like 3 hours, got a well nice tan :-) got too hot so we laid on towels under a big pear tree nd talked about boys nd cocks for like an hour lol, i was sorta pervn at george everytime he drived in cos when he got out he adjusted his cock... EVERY TIME :-P
was well good chatn to izzy, nd shes well happy that im gay. she said she hasnt told anyone, nd george got changed in front of me nd i saw everything :-P if he knew thers no way he would have done that. he had deffo trimmed his nest cos was well short nd it looked gd. hes got well more hair than me nd its well annoying. he def gave me his old speedos on purpose nd i hated getn out of the pool in case dad or auntie maureen saw, bt didnt mind izzy seeing or george. sorta liked george looking actually lol. when we got dried we shared a towel nd i was using it first nd he took his shorts off nd was talkn about tennis nd just like fully naked :-P its prob cos he goes to a posh boys school nd they prob always do naked stuff, i bet hes done something gay before as well. even when he was dried it was ages before he put his boxers back on.
not doin much today, alex is on holiday now bt he did txt me this morning nd he said its well nice nd he put 'youd love it here alexx' omg hes not done that for soooooooooo long!! know its stupid bt its made me well happy :-) im not gonna like get too gay with him saying like missed u, or putn kisses again nd stuff :-S even tho ive been well sad nd sorta depressed for ages. i think i might be in love with him nd thats why it hurts so much.
saturday was gd with izzy nd george cos theyve got a pool nd it was soooooo hot. had to wear some of georges swimmers cos forgot to bring some nd, nd he gave me like the tinyest ones ever was well embarrasing. the water was cold so atleast i didnt get hard lol. me nd izzy were sun bathing for like 3 hours, got a well nice tan :-) got too hot so we laid on towels under a big pear tree nd talked about boys nd cocks for like an hour lol, i was sorta pervn at george everytime he drived in cos when he got out he adjusted his cock... EVERY TIME :-P
was well good chatn to izzy, nd shes well happy that im gay. she said she hasnt told anyone, nd george got changed in front of me nd i saw everything :-P if he knew thers no way he would have done that. he had deffo trimmed his nest cos was well short nd it looked gd. hes got well more hair than me nd its well annoying. he def gave me his old speedos on purpose nd i hated getn out of the pool in case dad or auntie maureen saw, bt didnt mind izzy seeing or george. sorta liked george looking actually lol. when we got dried we shared a towel nd i was using it first nd he took his shorts off nd was talkn about tennis nd just like fully naked :-P its prob cos he goes to a posh boys school nd they prob always do naked stuff, i bet hes done something gay before as well. even when he was dried it was ages before he put his boxers back on.
not doin much today, alex is on holiday now bt he did txt me this morning nd he said its well nice nd he put 'youd love it here alexx' omg hes not done that for soooooooooo long!! know its stupid bt its made me well happy :-) im not gonna like get too gay with him saying like missed u, or putn kisses again nd stuff :-S even tho ive been well sad nd sorta depressed for ages. i think i might be in love with him nd thats why it hurts so much.
Tuesday, 29 June 2010
fuck buddies
still been ignored by alex :-( he came on msn last night but then signed off like 1 second later, he prob didnt sign off more like blocked me. so i txt him nd im like 'so when we meeting up mate?' i actually put mate lol, just tryn to be all manly :-/
dad has made me get up again cos he thinks im gonna waste my life if i laze in bed a couple of mornings a week. hes suck a dick bt i just cba to argue with him. heard him on the phone again to val this morning, think they were talking about money bt omg i hope shes not gonna bleed us dry. he would probably sell my kidneys to give her money cos hes blates in love with her even tho he still says they are just friends. matt said they are fuck buddies lol yak think im gonna vom.
had a good aft with jamie yesterday, even tho has to listen to him talkn about girls like every other sentence. well wanted to put more sun cream on him, or maybe some of my special milky cream lol.
want him to come to oxford today cos meetn some ppl, bt dunno whether to tell him cos i know hatty is coming, nd it might look like ive done it on purpose. wish we were as close as we used to be cos if we were i think id propr tell him im gay, bt just not mention how ive wanted to get in his pants for like 5 years lol.
dad has made me get up again cos he thinks im gonna waste my life if i laze in bed a couple of mornings a week. hes suck a dick bt i just cba to argue with him. heard him on the phone again to val this morning, think they were talking about money bt omg i hope shes not gonna bleed us dry. he would probably sell my kidneys to give her money cos hes blates in love with her even tho he still says they are just friends. matt said they are fuck buddies lol yak think im gonna vom.
had a good aft with jamie yesterday, even tho has to listen to him talkn about girls like every other sentence. well wanted to put more sun cream on him, or maybe some of my special milky cream lol.
want him to come to oxford today cos meetn some ppl, bt dunno whether to tell him cos i know hatty is coming, nd it might look like ive done it on purpose. wish we were as close as we used to be cos if we were i think id propr tell him im gay, bt just not mention how ive wanted to get in his pants for like 5 years lol.
Sunday, 20 June 2010
bored = wanking
got a txt from alex at like 7 this mornin just saying wuu2. random!!!! i put 'just laid in bed bored' nd replied in like 1 second nd said 'bored = wanking :-P' was thinkn of something to put back for ages but he txt again nd said hes got all series 1 of facejacker nd askd if i wanna watch it. im like 'yeah ok what time?' bt omg im like YAYYYYYY well surprised he wants me to come over. hope its not a joke or something :-S
dad is making breakfast nd val is here so weve got flowers in the kitchen and in the dining room lol. i dont even like flowers cos they smell weird nd its prob not even hygenic cos of all the pollen dust.
em nd matt went out last night nd she is still in bed. matt says shes ill and it could be food poisning, well its a bit of a fuckn coincidence how she always gets food poisoning after goin out in oxford!! she is laid in bed pretending to be ill bt dad says im rude cos im on my macbook at the table. ffs its not even ready yet nd i cba to listen to careers advice from val. matt never walks around in his undies when she is here :-( its the one thing about sunday i like cos he doesnt normally get dressed til lunch, nd shes ruined it. grrr.
dad is making breakfast nd val is here so weve got flowers in the kitchen and in the dining room lol. i dont even like flowers cos they smell weird nd its prob not even hygenic cos of all the pollen dust.
em nd matt went out last night nd she is still in bed. matt says shes ill and it could be food poisning, well its a bit of a fuckn coincidence how she always gets food poisoning after goin out in oxford!! she is laid in bed pretending to be ill bt dad says im rude cos im on my macbook at the table. ffs its not even ready yet nd i cba to listen to careers advice from val. matt never walks around in his undies when she is here :-( its the one thing about sunday i like cos he doesnt normally get dressed til lunch, nd shes ruined it. grrr.
Saturday, 19 June 2010
up his bum
didnt get wrecked last night bt it was a good night. nik txt randomly nd asked if he could get a lift nd i was sorta pleased cos i hate arriving at places on my own.
nik had like 1 wkd nd he was magically pissed nd startd stripping off. he loves it lol. kaytee kept comin up to me every 5 mins going 'we need a girlie chat'. arghhh!!! so in the end we sat outside nd ended up talkn in she was sorta leaning on me, nd then that changed to a hug nd then that changed to a snuggle. she wasnt that pissd, we shared like a big bottle of wkd bt its not that strong. it was her doin all the stuff bt i didnt stop her cos it felt a bit nice. not cos i like her like that, bt cos i sorta like it when girls like me lol. mental.
she said if i dont keep in touch she will bite my cock off lol. nice haha. she got all gooey nd actually said some pretty nice things about me, think she wanted something to happen :-S lol so i prob disappointed her lol.
alex didnt turn up at all, nd ppl were askn me like i should know where he is ffs. there was another party in thame that we got invited to, so he prob went to that on purpose. i did wanna go to that as well but dad would have stressed having to drive to thame to pick me up.
we all went in cos it was getn propr cold, nd nik was climbing on the sofas nd running around like hes 5. he climbed on me nd sat on my shoulders, omg had his cock pressing on my neck :-P horny
a few ppl went home early nd by 12 there was only about 10 of us left. they all wanted to do truth or dare bt i fuckin hate that cos i always think ppl are gonna ask if im gay :-S nik asked bex if she has ever used a vibrator nd she said yes lol. well funny!!! nd jess asked dan if hed ever put a finger up his bum nd he said no bt he paused for ages nd went well embarrassed so he blates has.
me nd nik both said dare, i had to let jess put frozen peas down my pants :-S nd they made nik lick the guinea pigs head lol. well wanted them to dare me to suck niks big cock lol or wank on ryans face :-P
nik had like 1 wkd nd he was magically pissed nd startd stripping off. he loves it lol. kaytee kept comin up to me every 5 mins going 'we need a girlie chat'. arghhh!!! so in the end we sat outside nd ended up talkn in she was sorta leaning on me, nd then that changed to a hug nd then that changed to a snuggle. she wasnt that pissd, we shared like a big bottle of wkd bt its not that strong. it was her doin all the stuff bt i didnt stop her cos it felt a bit nice. not cos i like her like that, bt cos i sorta like it when girls like me lol. mental.
she said if i dont keep in touch she will bite my cock off lol. nice haha. she got all gooey nd actually said some pretty nice things about me, think she wanted something to happen :-S lol so i prob disappointed her lol.
alex didnt turn up at all, nd ppl were askn me like i should know where he is ffs. there was another party in thame that we got invited to, so he prob went to that on purpose. i did wanna go to that as well but dad would have stressed having to drive to thame to pick me up.
we all went in cos it was getn propr cold, nd nik was climbing on the sofas nd running around like hes 5. he climbed on me nd sat on my shoulders, omg had his cock pressing on my neck :-P horny
a few ppl went home early nd by 12 there was only about 10 of us left. they all wanted to do truth or dare bt i fuckin hate that cos i always think ppl are gonna ask if im gay :-S nik asked bex if she has ever used a vibrator nd she said yes lol. well funny!!! nd jess asked dan if hed ever put a finger up his bum nd he said no bt he paused for ages nd went well embarrassed so he blates has.
me nd nik both said dare, i had to let jess put frozen peas down my pants :-S nd they made nik lick the guinea pigs head lol. well wanted them to dare me to suck niks big cock lol or wank on ryans face :-P
Thursday, 17 June 2010
im free
well sad today bt also feels prop amazing cos no more exams nd revision!!! said bye to loads of ppl nd got like kisses nd hugs from about 30 girls lol. loads of the girls cried nd it was a bit emotional nd i will miss loads of people.
sat on the field with everyone nd only just got home. gotta shower cos i let jess and kaytee draw stuff on my chest lol. they put an arrow down to my cock nd wrote 'BIG BOY' lol. met one of kaytees friends from cheney whos called rob nd think he might be a bit gay, nd i swear kaytee was tryn to make us talk nd get to know each other. hes not that fit, hes ok, but not like as hot as other ppl i like. alex stayed until about 5 nd we did chat for a bit, but he hasnt txt back about meetn tomorrow. i wanna get new jeans nd a new superdry tshirt tomorrow cos need new stuff for the party.
dad has given me £100 nd said there will be more if i get good results :-) i wanted him to say sorry for been horrible nd stuff bt he didnt cos he thinks he can make me do anything nd is well controlling.
ive txtd frank about work but hes not replied yet. really hope he doesnt hate me.
sat on the field with everyone nd only just got home. gotta shower cos i let jess and kaytee draw stuff on my chest lol. they put an arrow down to my cock nd wrote 'BIG BOY' lol. met one of kaytees friends from cheney whos called rob nd think he might be a bit gay, nd i swear kaytee was tryn to make us talk nd get to know each other. hes not that fit, hes ok, but not like as hot as other ppl i like. alex stayed until about 5 nd we did chat for a bit, but he hasnt txt back about meetn tomorrow. i wanna get new jeans nd a new superdry tshirt tomorrow cos need new stuff for the party.
dad has given me £100 nd said there will be more if i get good results :-) i wanted him to say sorry for been horrible nd stuff bt he didnt cos he thinks he can make me do anything nd is well controlling.
ive txtd frank about work but hes not replied yet. really hope he doesnt hate me.
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