thanx for all the emails. im not dead or anything lol.
life is pretty good atm, working for frank again, and me nd sops are lookn at renting a flat in oxford. prob end up on blackbird leys cos everything near me is well expensive. but will be well good. not told dad nd val cos think they will think im rushing in to things but i love sops to bits nd we are well besties :)
so much has happened to me since the summer and its like my life now is nothing like my old one. thinking about blogging properly again but im not gonna lie, its sorta been nice not having to think about blogging. but then some days i miss it loads, and u guys are great cos u all email me to check im ok and stuff.
for ages i wantd a boyfriend more than anything in the world. but ben hurt me a lot cos he lied about a lot of stuff about his life and then i found out hes done porn and everything and it just made me feel shit. just felt weird knowing thousands of ppl have seen him naked and it just feels like its not special for us. he is propr wrong in the head nd even tho we are friends a bit i dont see him that often.
em has had an abortion even tho they all think i do know, i do cos i saw the letter and it nearly caused them to split up cos matt hates stuff like that. so much shit happening in this house no wonder i want to leave.
Showing posts with label oxford. Show all posts
Showing posts with label oxford. Show all posts
Thursday, 17 February 2011
Saturday, 23 October 2010
share a bed
been sorta sextin with this guy called ben who sops knows and meeting him this afternoon. omg well scared!!! hes well fit, and has a propr fit bod. hes 18 and has got his own car nd he says well nice to stuff to me, nd sops has showed me some txts hes sent her about me, he propr likes me :)
been to brothers this morning and got my hair cut, got is shorter now and sorta messy nd a bit spikey. sops said i look hot :D hope ben thinks so. got a new red and white jw tshirt that ive been waiting to wear for ages. hope he things im fit. wearing my ripped full circle jeans with the massive rip on the bum :p hes gonna look i know he is.
we went to see jamie when we were walking back. he looks a bit cute in his uniform haha, he txt me as soon as we said bye nd hes like 'mate shes fit txt me her num' i didnt reply and like 5 mins later hes going 'whats her name im adding her on fb' hes well horny. hes living in a shared house in jericho now, its a propr dump but hes getn some ikea stuff in his room to make it nicer. i pissed in the toilet and didnt even wash my hands cos the sink looked like someone had shit in it. soooo dirty :/ hes not bothered tho nd its prob better than living with his mental family.
had my last counselling on tuesday, and ive told sops everything about dad and all the shit that happened even though dad told me to keep my private thoughts to myself. felt better to tell her and we had a well nice snuggle. even tho she knows im gay a bit she likes me to spoon her lol. shes stayed over again last night, and i still have to sleep downstairs and she has my bed. its mental cos i thought dad would be like tryn to make me share a bed with her lol. we always spoon before bed nd she tries to touch my doodle a bit lol. i propr love her loads shes like my best friend ever cos we are so close.
val keeps calling her my girlfriend and it doesnt even annoy me now cos im just like whatever. they are trying to make me not gay but theres nothing anyone can do :D
meeting ben at 2 and we are goin to starbucks, sops is coming for a bit so its not too weird but then shes gonna go after like half an hour.
SOOOO excited!!!! gotta get ready nd make sure i can do my hair this good after ive washed it :)
been to brothers this morning and got my hair cut, got is shorter now and sorta messy nd a bit spikey. sops said i look hot :D hope ben thinks so. got a new red and white jw tshirt that ive been waiting to wear for ages. hope he things im fit. wearing my ripped full circle jeans with the massive rip on the bum :p hes gonna look i know he is.
we went to see jamie when we were walking back. he looks a bit cute in his uniform haha, he txt me as soon as we said bye nd hes like 'mate shes fit txt me her num' i didnt reply and like 5 mins later hes going 'whats her name im adding her on fb' hes well horny. hes living in a shared house in jericho now, its a propr dump but hes getn some ikea stuff in his room to make it nicer. i pissed in the toilet and didnt even wash my hands cos the sink looked like someone had shit in it. soooo dirty :/ hes not bothered tho nd its prob better than living with his mental family.
had my last counselling on tuesday, and ive told sops everything about dad and all the shit that happened even though dad told me to keep my private thoughts to myself. felt better to tell her and we had a well nice snuggle. even tho she knows im gay a bit she likes me to spoon her lol. shes stayed over again last night, and i still have to sleep downstairs and she has my bed. its mental cos i thought dad would be like tryn to make me share a bed with her lol. we always spoon before bed nd she tries to touch my doodle a bit lol. i propr love her loads shes like my best friend ever cos we are so close.
val keeps calling her my girlfriend and it doesnt even annoy me now cos im just like whatever. they are trying to make me not gay but theres nothing anyone can do :D
meeting ben at 2 and we are goin to starbucks, sops is coming for a bit so its not too weird but then shes gonna go after like half an hour.
SOOOO excited!!!! gotta get ready nd make sure i can do my hair this good after ive washed it :)
Monday, 19 July 2010
holiday sex
had an amazing day yest!!!! alex txt me at 720 which woke me up nd put 'fancy mcd? alexx'. well made me happy nd even tho i was propr tired i got up nd got ready nd was sorta walkn around the house just excited to meet up. they had to wait for ages for their bags, nd didnt get back in oxford until like half 9. dad drove me to his nd then we walkd back in to oxford. when he saw me he was walkn towards the car nd i could see him smiling nd it made me smile :-) i think if dad had have just drove off isnt of tryn to ask him about the holiday he would have maybe given me a hug.
he talked like non stop until we got to mc d. i bought him food nd he said thanks nd sorta put his arm on my hand. id pay for his food everday forever if he touchd my arm. know its mental bt it got me rock hard in like 1 second. when we were waitin i was sorta leaning on the counter to try nd press it down cos it was well obvious. it hadnt gone down fully nd we were walkn to sit in the window nd some girls came in from the year below who we sorta know nd they were like lookn at my cock nd then whispering to each other nd pointing :-/ went really red nd hot nd then it went down. argh. what a twat :-S
stayed in oxf for a bit, was well busy nd then we went nd sat by the river nd i wantd to ask why hes been weird nd why hed ignored me bt i got scared cos didnt wanna ruin the day nd piss him off :-S arghh. we talkd about random crap nd then more about his hols. he showed me some pics on his iphone nd it did look well nice. its weird how his dad goes with them even tho they split up ages ago. i asked him if he got any holiday sex nd he just laughd nd said yeah loads, bt did the wanking thing with his hand in my face lol. wish he actually would do that in my face. bt i think that means he didnt get any sex anyway lol.
went back to mine cos just got tired of walkn around, nd we watched peep show on 4od in my room. seen it a million times bt i didnt mind cos i know he loves it. i wanted to move closer to him but not be gay, nd so moved my leg to touch his leg. he didnt say anything so i left it there for a few mins, nd sorta touched his foot a bit with my foot. he didnt do anything back nd then a well funny bit was on peep show where super hans is smoking crack at a wedding, nd alex propr loves it bt he wasnt sayn anything or laughing nd i sat up nd omg he was propr asleep lol. pulln a weird face with his mouth open lol, bt he still looked fit :-P
i laid back down nd more on my side, got well close nd could feel the heat from his bod. got rock hard nd it was pushing on the side of his leg, i just closed my eyes for like a minute nd could feel my heart beating well fast nd sorta hear it beating in my mouth. was soooo hard thought i was gonna cum :-S he moved a tiny bit nd his arm moved off his leg nd touched my leg. omg i propr nearly spunked lol. wanted to kiss him so bad, nd was thinking what to do next, bt then felt all weird nd guilty nd felt bad liked id sorta raped him cos he was asleep nd i shouldnt have pushd my cock onto him :-S i just moved away nd sat up, turned peep show really low so it didnt wake him up. felt a bit bad, nd just paranoid in case he knew what i was doin. didnt sit next to him again, just sat on my chair with my feet on the bed, nd then just watched him for ages. not in a weird way lol.
he talked like non stop until we got to mc d. i bought him food nd he said thanks nd sorta put his arm on my hand. id pay for his food everday forever if he touchd my arm. know its mental bt it got me rock hard in like 1 second. when we were waitin i was sorta leaning on the counter to try nd press it down cos it was well obvious. it hadnt gone down fully nd we were walkn to sit in the window nd some girls came in from the year below who we sorta know nd they were like lookn at my cock nd then whispering to each other nd pointing :-/ went really red nd hot nd then it went down. argh. what a twat :-S
stayed in oxf for a bit, was well busy nd then we went nd sat by the river nd i wantd to ask why hes been weird nd why hed ignored me bt i got scared cos didnt wanna ruin the day nd piss him off :-S arghh. we talkd about random crap nd then more about his hols. he showed me some pics on his iphone nd it did look well nice. its weird how his dad goes with them even tho they split up ages ago. i asked him if he got any holiday sex nd he just laughd nd said yeah loads, bt did the wanking thing with his hand in my face lol. wish he actually would do that in my face. bt i think that means he didnt get any sex anyway lol.
went back to mine cos just got tired of walkn around, nd we watched peep show on 4od in my room. seen it a million times bt i didnt mind cos i know he loves it. i wanted to move closer to him but not be gay, nd so moved my leg to touch his leg. he didnt say anything so i left it there for a few mins, nd sorta touched his foot a bit with my foot. he didnt do anything back nd then a well funny bit was on peep show where super hans is smoking crack at a wedding, nd alex propr loves it bt he wasnt sayn anything or laughing nd i sat up nd omg he was propr asleep lol. pulln a weird face with his mouth open lol, bt he still looked fit :-P
i laid back down nd more on my side, got well close nd could feel the heat from his bod. got rock hard nd it was pushing on the side of his leg, i just closed my eyes for like a minute nd could feel my heart beating well fast nd sorta hear it beating in my mouth. was soooo hard thought i was gonna cum :-S he moved a tiny bit nd his arm moved off his leg nd touched my leg. omg i propr nearly spunked lol. wanted to kiss him so bad, nd was thinking what to do next, bt then felt all weird nd guilty nd felt bad liked id sorta raped him cos he was asleep nd i shouldnt have pushd my cock onto him :-S i just moved away nd sat up, turned peep show really low so it didnt wake him up. felt a bit bad, nd just paranoid in case he knew what i was doin. didnt sit next to him again, just sat on my chair with my feet on the bed, nd then just watched him for ages. not in a weird way lol.
Friday, 16 July 2010
love me
sooooo tired. work was well slow today :-( feels like ive been working for ever. thers a new guy thats starting on moday nd hes been in today to meet some of the sales ppl. hes called scott, hes pretty fit bt not gay i dont think.
sorta got a bit told off by frank for texting cos its not allowed even tho he didnt mind when i used to work on saturdays. felt a bit bad nd so before matt picked me up i said sorry nd hes like 'dont worry josh, just keep it to lunch times'. next week im deffo gonna get a bit hard nd go into his office nd ask him something nd like keep adjusting it so he sees lol. then he will love me again :-P
wanted to go out tonight bt everyone is doin something or on hols :-( goin to see inception tomorrow with nik nd dan, but wanna go tonight cos it looks well gd.
think matt nd em are goin to oxford nd dad is going to vals, so just gonna be sat here all night bored :-( grrrrrrr
sorta got a bit told off by frank for texting cos its not allowed even tho he didnt mind when i used to work on saturdays. felt a bit bad nd so before matt picked me up i said sorry nd hes like 'dont worry josh, just keep it to lunch times'. next week im deffo gonna get a bit hard nd go into his office nd ask him something nd like keep adjusting it so he sees lol. then he will love me again :-P
wanted to go out tonight bt everyone is doin something or on hols :-( goin to see inception tomorrow with nik nd dan, but wanna go tonight cos it looks well gd.
think matt nd em are goin to oxford nd dad is going to vals, so just gonna be sat here all night bored :-( grrrrrrr
Tuesday, 29 June 2010
fuck buddies
still been ignored by alex :-( he came on msn last night but then signed off like 1 second later, he prob didnt sign off more like blocked me. so i txt him nd im like 'so when we meeting up mate?' i actually put mate lol, just tryn to be all manly :-/
dad has made me get up again cos he thinks im gonna waste my life if i laze in bed a couple of mornings a week. hes suck a dick bt i just cba to argue with him. heard him on the phone again to val this morning, think they were talking about money bt omg i hope shes not gonna bleed us dry. he would probably sell my kidneys to give her money cos hes blates in love with her even tho he still says they are just friends. matt said they are fuck buddies lol yak think im gonna vom.
had a good aft with jamie yesterday, even tho has to listen to him talkn about girls like every other sentence. well wanted to put more sun cream on him, or maybe some of my special milky cream lol.
want him to come to oxford today cos meetn some ppl, bt dunno whether to tell him cos i know hatty is coming, nd it might look like ive done it on purpose. wish we were as close as we used to be cos if we were i think id propr tell him im gay, bt just not mention how ive wanted to get in his pants for like 5 years lol.
dad has made me get up again cos he thinks im gonna waste my life if i laze in bed a couple of mornings a week. hes suck a dick bt i just cba to argue with him. heard him on the phone again to val this morning, think they were talking about money bt omg i hope shes not gonna bleed us dry. he would probably sell my kidneys to give her money cos hes blates in love with her even tho he still says they are just friends. matt said they are fuck buddies lol yak think im gonna vom.
had a good aft with jamie yesterday, even tho has to listen to him talkn about girls like every other sentence. well wanted to put more sun cream on him, or maybe some of my special milky cream lol.
want him to come to oxford today cos meetn some ppl, bt dunno whether to tell him cos i know hatty is coming, nd it might look like ive done it on purpose. wish we were as close as we used to be cos if we were i think id propr tell him im gay, bt just not mention how ive wanted to get in his pants for like 5 years lol.
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