fml been hanging all day, and got forced to eat xmas lunch even tho i wasnt hungry and felt sick. stayed at sops house last night and we watched christmas films, ate crap and got pissed :D she kept tryn to touch my doodle dirty bitch! i love her to bits but she gets a bit annoying sometimes cos she knows im gay but is obsessed with my cock lol. she wanted to do dares and her first one was daring me to wank off and jizz out of her window lol. we stayed up talkn until 5 and then her mum dropped me home this morning at 10 and omg thought i was gonna vom in her car. had to close my eyes cos felt so bad.
not got that many presents this year, em and matt bought me apple tv which i well wasnt expecting, and val bought me socks with my name on. random. just got money from dad and a well nice diesel beanie which em prob got for him to give me. i was saving for a new macbook but been spending all my money on clothes and stuff, so might try nd save again now with my xmas money.
wanted to go out tonight but not allowed :( hes such a twat we are only watchn tv so why does he need me here ffs!?!? if he tries to force me to eat any more food today im gonna die i swear. still feel hungover a bit and not had any drink today, not even champagne which was something else for him to moan about cos i just had lemonade.
goin to pizza express tmrw for a meal with sops, we didnt buy each other anything cos we said we would have a meal together nd perv at hot waiters. she said shes gonna tell the tall skiny waiter im gay cos he does look at bit gay and hes fit, and i want his number.
gotta play taboo now some shit game that val bought. shes got a cupboard in the lounge that she calls the family cupboard nad she keeps buying shit games and makes us all play them. the thing i really wanna play with right now is my cock. ffs.
Saturday, 25 December 2010
Tuesday, 2 November 2010
each other
had a well freaky evening yesterady, went in to oxford with sops and we met up with ben. all in mcd and we were just about to go when omg alex came in, he looked striaght thru me even tho i sorta waved. totally ignored me bt the weird thing is it actually didnt bother me that much. sops was like 'JOSH!!!! thats him isnt it?' cos ive told her evertyhing that happened and what i did, and i was just like ermmmmm and tryn to give her a weird look to stop her saying any mroe stuff cos didnt want ben to know or him to think i didnt like him or i like someone else.
was a bit glad alex as on his own, he sat like as far away from us as possible, and facing the wall a bit. hes got new friends as well cos he met up with 2 ppl, they were both well fit, nd that sorta made me a bit jealous but i just stopped thinking about it, and looked at ben, cos omg hes well more fit and hot than them.
sops got picked up then was just me and ben, nd we went for starbucks and i had a white mocca and he had coffee caramel frap. how gay lol. we shared each others drinks which was really nice nd made me get propr hard. went to the toilet nd id even precumd a bit lol. im a weirdo cos probably no one else in the world would get hard over sharing a frappuccino.
he drove me home nd we were sat in his car for a few mins, got a bit arkward and omg he put his hand on my knee made me jump a bit cos i wasnt expecting it nd all i could think about was kissing him nd my cock was twitching like it was about to jizz lol then matt nd em had to ruin it all and parked behind us and came up to the car nd em is like 'what you doin boys?' nd then she laughed before we said anything and said 'each other' really loud to matt. well embarrassing. sorta had to go in the house then with them and say bye to ben which was weirdly awkward. fml.
dad and val were out so gutted em and matt came home cos i well wanted him to come in for a bit.
stayed up until nearly 2 texting. dont even know what about, just random stuff and like he pays me compliments all the time nd makes me feel well nice. he said if he has to wait another week before meeting up again hes gonna come and stalk me :p
was a bit glad alex as on his own, he sat like as far away from us as possible, and facing the wall a bit. hes got new friends as well cos he met up with 2 ppl, they were both well fit, nd that sorta made me a bit jealous but i just stopped thinking about it, and looked at ben, cos omg hes well more fit and hot than them.
sops got picked up then was just me and ben, nd we went for starbucks and i had a white mocca and he had coffee caramel frap. how gay lol. we shared each others drinks which was really nice nd made me get propr hard. went to the toilet nd id even precumd a bit lol. im a weirdo cos probably no one else in the world would get hard over sharing a frappuccino.
he drove me home nd we were sat in his car for a few mins, got a bit arkward and omg he put his hand on my knee made me jump a bit cos i wasnt expecting it nd all i could think about was kissing him nd my cock was twitching like it was about to jizz lol then matt nd em had to ruin it all and parked behind us and came up to the car nd em is like 'what you doin boys?' nd then she laughed before we said anything and said 'each other' really loud to matt. well embarrassing. sorta had to go in the house then with them and say bye to ben which was weirdly awkward. fml.
dad and val were out so gutted em and matt came home cos i well wanted him to come in for a bit.
stayed up until nearly 2 texting. dont even know what about, just random stuff and like he pays me compliments all the time nd makes me feel well nice. he said if he has to wait another week before meeting up again hes gonna come and stalk me :p
Saturday, 23 October 2010
share a bed
been sorta sextin with this guy called ben who sops knows and meeting him this afternoon. omg well scared!!! hes well fit, and has a propr fit bod. hes 18 and has got his own car nd he says well nice to stuff to me, nd sops has showed me some txts hes sent her about me, he propr likes me :)
been to brothers this morning and got my hair cut, got is shorter now and sorta messy nd a bit spikey. sops said i look hot :D hope ben thinks so. got a new red and white jw tshirt that ive been waiting to wear for ages. hope he things im fit. wearing my ripped full circle jeans with the massive rip on the bum :p hes gonna look i know he is.
we went to see jamie when we were walking back. he looks a bit cute in his uniform haha, he txt me as soon as we said bye nd hes like 'mate shes fit txt me her num' i didnt reply and like 5 mins later hes going 'whats her name im adding her on fb' hes well horny. hes living in a shared house in jericho now, its a propr dump but hes getn some ikea stuff in his room to make it nicer. i pissed in the toilet and didnt even wash my hands cos the sink looked like someone had shit in it. soooo dirty :/ hes not bothered tho nd its prob better than living with his mental family.
had my last counselling on tuesday, and ive told sops everything about dad and all the shit that happened even though dad told me to keep my private thoughts to myself. felt better to tell her and we had a well nice snuggle. even tho she knows im gay a bit she likes me to spoon her lol. shes stayed over again last night, and i still have to sleep downstairs and she has my bed. its mental cos i thought dad would be like tryn to make me share a bed with her lol. we always spoon before bed nd she tries to touch my doodle a bit lol. i propr love her loads shes like my best friend ever cos we are so close.
val keeps calling her my girlfriend and it doesnt even annoy me now cos im just like whatever. they are trying to make me not gay but theres nothing anyone can do :D
meeting ben at 2 and we are goin to starbucks, sops is coming for a bit so its not too weird but then shes gonna go after like half an hour.
SOOOO excited!!!! gotta get ready nd make sure i can do my hair this good after ive washed it :)
been to brothers this morning and got my hair cut, got is shorter now and sorta messy nd a bit spikey. sops said i look hot :D hope ben thinks so. got a new red and white jw tshirt that ive been waiting to wear for ages. hope he things im fit. wearing my ripped full circle jeans with the massive rip on the bum :p hes gonna look i know he is.
we went to see jamie when we were walking back. he looks a bit cute in his uniform haha, he txt me as soon as we said bye nd hes like 'mate shes fit txt me her num' i didnt reply and like 5 mins later hes going 'whats her name im adding her on fb' hes well horny. hes living in a shared house in jericho now, its a propr dump but hes getn some ikea stuff in his room to make it nicer. i pissed in the toilet and didnt even wash my hands cos the sink looked like someone had shit in it. soooo dirty :/ hes not bothered tho nd its prob better than living with his mental family.
had my last counselling on tuesday, and ive told sops everything about dad and all the shit that happened even though dad told me to keep my private thoughts to myself. felt better to tell her and we had a well nice snuggle. even tho she knows im gay a bit she likes me to spoon her lol. shes stayed over again last night, and i still have to sleep downstairs and she has my bed. its mental cos i thought dad would be like tryn to make me share a bed with her lol. we always spoon before bed nd she tries to touch my doodle a bit lol. i propr love her loads shes like my best friend ever cos we are so close.
val keeps calling her my girlfriend and it doesnt even annoy me now cos im just like whatever. they are trying to make me not gay but theres nothing anyone can do :D
meeting ben at 2 and we are goin to starbucks, sops is coming for a bit so its not too weird but then shes gonna go after like half an hour.
SOOOO excited!!!! gotta get ready nd make sure i can do my hair this good after ive washed it :)
Thursday, 30 September 2010
new number
got a text from alex today saying hes got a new number. prolly sent it to everyone but its the first thing ive head from him for nearly 2 months :/ really wanna reply but dont know what to put. he obv hasnt deleted me from his iphone bt he could have sent it by accident if he sent it to everyone. i dont know what to do!?!?!? fml
been seeing jamie loads, and hes just started working in oxford now, so went to kfc yesterday and monday at lunch. his mum is moving to spain cos shes gonna be running a bar. he said he wont miss her but i know he will. even ill sorta miss her lol.
the ppl on my course are ok, made a well good friend called sophie who knows im gay bt not really told anyone else, bt also not trying to hide it. and think sops has told a coulpe of ppl, and im happy with it. that prob makes no sense lol.
not been to councilling this week cos told dad i had some group work to do. tried to get served in copa with sops but i got IDd and she didnt!!! ffs. its cos shes fit and looks older and the bar man blates wanted to fuck her lol.
sorta been avoiding nicholas cos i dont know what dad has said to him, and hes not asked me to look after dolce and pepsi for ages. he obs knows i dont work for frank anymore. fml. dad is such a controlling bastard hes tried to ruin my life seriously. sops came over last night nd i cooked her an egg sandwich :) she said im a domestic god lol. dad was like jizzing in his pants cos he prob thinks ive turned normal again, nd cos he blates wants to do her haha. she is well fit. i wanted matt to meet her but they were out.
just lazing tonight and reading old texts from alex :/
been seeing jamie loads, and hes just started working in oxford now, so went to kfc yesterday and monday at lunch. his mum is moving to spain cos shes gonna be running a bar. he said he wont miss her but i know he will. even ill sorta miss her lol.
the ppl on my course are ok, made a well good friend called sophie who knows im gay bt not really told anyone else, bt also not trying to hide it. and think sops has told a coulpe of ppl, and im happy with it. that prob makes no sense lol.
not been to councilling this week cos told dad i had some group work to do. tried to get served in copa with sops but i got IDd and she didnt!!! ffs. its cos shes fit and looks older and the bar man blates wanted to fuck her lol.
sorta been avoiding nicholas cos i dont know what dad has said to him, and hes not asked me to look after dolce and pepsi for ages. he obs knows i dont work for frank anymore. fml. dad is such a controlling bastard hes tried to ruin my life seriously. sops came over last night nd i cooked her an egg sandwich :) she said im a domestic god lol. dad was like jizzing in his pants cos he prob thinks ive turned normal again, nd cos he blates wants to do her haha. she is well fit. i wanted matt to meet her but they were out.
just lazing tonight and reading old texts from alex :/
Wednesday, 8 September 2010
(29) days of summer
got like 999999 messages from u guys, nd i know theres loads i havent replied to, but i read them all, nd it sorta makes me feel nice that there are so many ppl that think about me and want me to be happy.
so much stuff has happened this summer and its been the hardest thing ever in my life. ive still been blogging most days but im not yet ready to press 'publish'. ive felt so sad its made me vom, ive not been eating or sleeping properly and i propr look like a druggie smack head.
basically alex isnt gay and he told his mum everything and she phoned dad about me. he knows everything and thinks its just a phase and im not really gay. ive been to a counsellor to talk and it was ok, but now ive got to start going every week. hes hardly saying much to me but is treating me differently and said i cant have my toothbrush in the cabinet next to theirs :( he prob thinks ive got aids or something just from thinking about getting bummed.
ffs he told matt and em everything as well, so they propr think im a perv and a freak :-( matt has talked to me loads tho and he told me on sunday night that he always sorta knew and that i should be gay if i want to be and not let anyone persuade me to be striaght. i dont know anymore and i just feel shit and dad is giving me stress about carrying on the family surname and saying how upset mum would have been :-(
ive not spoken to alex for 29 days cos his mum told me he will contact me again when hes ready and that he was bullied at his old school for 2 years cos people called him gay and hes not actually gay.
starting at college doing a diploma in information technology and guess its a new start, nd think thats what i need. dad made me leave my job with frank but ive applied at some shops. got fit new hair today in brothers, and matt bought me some new jeans and two tops for college, new me :)
ive ignored my friends all summer cos of this and they prob all hate me.
sorry if ive dissapointed u guys as well as everyone else :/
joshxx
so much stuff has happened this summer and its been the hardest thing ever in my life. ive still been blogging most days but im not yet ready to press 'publish'. ive felt so sad its made me vom, ive not been eating or sleeping properly and i propr look like a druggie smack head.
basically alex isnt gay and he told his mum everything and she phoned dad about me. he knows everything and thinks its just a phase and im not really gay. ive been to a counsellor to talk and it was ok, but now ive got to start going every week. hes hardly saying much to me but is treating me differently and said i cant have my toothbrush in the cabinet next to theirs :( he prob thinks ive got aids or something just from thinking about getting bummed.
ffs he told matt and em everything as well, so they propr think im a perv and a freak :-( matt has talked to me loads tho and he told me on sunday night that he always sorta knew and that i should be gay if i want to be and not let anyone persuade me to be striaght. i dont know anymore and i just feel shit and dad is giving me stress about carrying on the family surname and saying how upset mum would have been :-(
ive not spoken to alex for 29 days cos his mum told me he will contact me again when hes ready and that he was bullied at his old school for 2 years cos people called him gay and hes not actually gay.
starting at college doing a diploma in information technology and guess its a new start, nd think thats what i need. dad made me leave my job with frank but ive applied at some shops. got fit new hair today in brothers, and matt bought me some new jeans and two tops for college, new me :)
ive ignored my friends all summer cos of this and they prob all hate me.
sorry if ive dissapointed u guys as well as everyone else :/
joshxx
Thursday, 26 August 2010
ACCCDDDDE
went out last night with dad, val, em and matt and we had champagne. dad said ive made him proud and i got £500 towards a macbook pro. i didnt do that well compared to some ppl i know, but i did better than i thought.
it was a good night but i still felt empty and when i got home just felt sick again. i was thin before but im propr skinnky now cos i hardly eat food cos i never feel like it. not been out for ages and just feel depressed. dunno what to do but just feel like im not interested in anything anymore, even stuff i like doing. feel a bit like i dont want to cheer up but even tho deep down i know i do. hard to explain.
it was a good night but i still felt empty and when i got home just felt sick again. i was thin before but im propr skinnky now cos i hardly eat food cos i never feel like it. not been out for ages and just feel depressed. dunno what to do but just feel like im not interested in anything anymore, even stuff i like doing. feel a bit like i dont want to cheer up but even tho deep down i know i do. hard to explain.
Sunday, 15 August 2010
your love is my drug
this is the worst summer ever just hate my life nd nothing is going right anymore.
my best friend hates me nd wont even txt me, nd then after 6 days just sends me an email saying he wants his soul cal hoody back and all his dvds.
dunno what to do with my life cos this hurts so much nd i want him back even if its just as a normal friend. if i could have one thing in the world it would be him.
so upset nd no one uderstands. em thinks im stupid nd dad told her hes worred ive tried drugs. your love is my drug.
my best friend hates me nd wont even txt me, nd then after 6 days just sends me an email saying he wants his soul cal hoody back and all his dvds.
dunno what to do with my life cos this hurts so much nd i want him back even if its just as a normal friend. if i could have one thing in the world it would be him.
so upset nd no one uderstands. em thinks im stupid nd dad told her hes worred ive tried drugs. your love is my drug.
Thursday, 5 August 2010
lazy
dad has been in liverpool today nd he set off at 5 bt hes still not back!!!! val is stressing me out cos she keeps coming up nd asking if i want stuff, like a drink, or food, ffs its my house nd shes the guest it should be me askn her if she wants stuff!!!
bored now bt dont want to go downstairs nd watch tv cos its just too weird just sat with her nd having random convos :-/
alex has done new fb pics nd hes wearing my bench tshirt :-P he looks soooo hot. i like it when he wears my stuff, nd i love wearing his stuff sooo much. esp if i can sorta smell him a bit. horny :-P
hes not doin anything tonight bt doesnt want to come over, he said he just wants a lazy night in :-( well shuldnt whinge cos saw him on tuesday nd went to see inception AGAIN nd then went out last night as well. i wish he liked me as much as i like him :-/
bored now bt dont want to go downstairs nd watch tv cos its just too weird just sat with her nd having random convos :-/
alex has done new fb pics nd hes wearing my bench tshirt :-P he looks soooo hot. i like it when he wears my stuff, nd i love wearing his stuff sooo much. esp if i can sorta smell him a bit. horny :-P
hes not doin anything tonight bt doesnt want to come over, he said he just wants a lazy night in :-( well shuldnt whinge cos saw him on tuesday nd went to see inception AGAIN nd then went out last night as well. i wish he liked me as much as i like him :-/
Monday, 2 August 2010
maize maze
didnt see alex all wkend, cos he was at his dads nd so only saw him for like 45 mins on friday night after id finished work :-( hes back today tho so gonna meet up later. hes getn his hair cut in brothers nd he asked if i wanna go with him. gay lol. bt id go with him anywhere cos i just like spending any time with him :-)
went to leamington spa yesterday to see family. me, matt and em went to a maze that was made out of maize lol. it was gd, but soooo hot. me nd matt took our tops off nd i was walking in front nd i kept turning around to look at his hot bod :-P
took like 2 hours to find our way out, em was too tight to buy a map for £1, so we did it the hard way. two well fit american or canadian twins that we kept bumping into, omg nearly cumd in my pants they were so hot. their accents make me melt <3
on the way back em wouldnt let me in matts car so i had to go back with dad and val. she was propr stressn me out nd kept talkn to me nd dad made me turn my ipod off nd nearly killed us on the motorway cos he was tryn to tell me off. what a twat.
had chinese last night nd jesus i propr nearly died when val actually got some money out to pay!! prob dad gave it to her when i wasnt looking. wish id have ordered more haha
went to leamington spa yesterday to see family. me, matt and em went to a maze that was made out of maize lol. it was gd, but soooo hot. me nd matt took our tops off nd i was walking in front nd i kept turning around to look at his hot bod :-P
took like 2 hours to find our way out, em was too tight to buy a map for £1, so we did it the hard way. two well fit american or canadian twins that we kept bumping into, omg nearly cumd in my pants they were so hot. their accents make me melt <3
on the way back em wouldnt let me in matts car so i had to go back with dad and val. she was propr stressn me out nd kept talkn to me nd dad made me turn my ipod off nd nearly killed us on the motorway cos he was tryn to tell me off. what a twat.
had chinese last night nd jesus i propr nearly died when val actually got some money out to pay!! prob dad gave it to her when i wasnt looking. wish id have ordered more haha
Tuesday, 27 July 2010
own keys
nik came over last night cos he wanted to borrow our wii controller, thought he would stay for a bit bd he went after like 10 mins. RUDE!! hed got fake tan on nd it looked propr shit nd a bit orange lol. didnt say anything bt propr lol'd in my pants when hed gone. what a gay!!!!
hes havin a party at end of aug nd said ive got to tweet about it cos not enough ppl are goin yet. he said to get jamie to come nd i said ill ask alex nd hes like alex is already coming hes makin the best ever playlist. sorta got me a bit pissd off that alex knew about it before me nd never said anything :-/
FFS this takes the piss!!!! sounded like dad was home so went downstairs to see why he was back already nd val is there goin 'hello josh' nd smiling at me. ffs no wonder shes smiling if shes got her own keys!!!!! ffs when was he gonna ask me nd em if she could just have her own keys nd just walk in. i could have been naked or anything.
hes havin a party at end of aug nd said ive got to tweet about it cos not enough ppl are goin yet. he said to get jamie to come nd i said ill ask alex nd hes like alex is already coming hes makin the best ever playlist. sorta got me a bit pissd off that alex knew about it before me nd never said anything :-/
FFS this takes the piss!!!! sounded like dad was home so went downstairs to see why he was back already nd val is there goin 'hello josh' nd smiling at me. ffs no wonder shes smiling if shes got her own keys!!!!! ffs when was he gonna ask me nd em if she could just have her own keys nd just walk in. i could have been naked or anything.
Sunday, 25 July 2010
again tonight
well gd weekend with alex, stayed at his for 2 nights. his mum said i could stay again tonight bt dad wanted me to come home :-( dunno why cos now hes gone to toot baldon with val. ffs so home alone cos em nd matt arent back.
stayed up til 5 on friday!!!!!! it was fully light nd we were tryn to get to sleep lol. slept on the floor next to his bed, bt we had been laid on his bed for like 4 hours anyway just talking about random stuff nd watchn tv. we slept until about half 3 in the afternoon when his mum came back from shopn nd then she did us a well good breakfast with bacon, sausage, beans and toast.
didnt do that much on sat, tried to get served in tesco lol bt waste of time nd well embarrassing. prob easier to steal vodka than it is to buy it lol. waited outside for ages to see if we could get someone to buy it for us bt just bottled out of askn anyone.
walked back nd then it was sorta a bit arkward nd weird cos i was sorta a bit bored bt couldnt think of anything to say. nd then i was just about to say about goin home nd hes like 'wanna stay again tonight?' omg got hard haha, phoned dad nd he said yes!!! he had a shower nd didnt fully shut the door bt couldnt really see bt could hear the water nd kept sounding like he was wanking lol. he prob wasnt, but i was :-P spunked in like 1 minute lol, str into my pants lol.
when i showered i left the door open even more to see if he would come in, bt he didnt. did get to wear some of his undies nd a well nice white firetrap tshirt. even tho it was clean, sorta smelled of him nd it was nice.
watched a well random weird movie called mum & dad, nd my leg was touching him for like 2 hours. was hard for ages nd think he saw it bt didnt look like he was hard :-( hope he doesnt think i got hard at the weird shit in the film cos it was just freaky.
stayed up til 5 on friday!!!!!! it was fully light nd we were tryn to get to sleep lol. slept on the floor next to his bed, bt we had been laid on his bed for like 4 hours anyway just talking about random stuff nd watchn tv. we slept until about half 3 in the afternoon when his mum came back from shopn nd then she did us a well good breakfast with bacon, sausage, beans and toast.
didnt do that much on sat, tried to get served in tesco lol bt waste of time nd well embarrassing. prob easier to steal vodka than it is to buy it lol. waited outside for ages to see if we could get someone to buy it for us bt just bottled out of askn anyone.
walked back nd then it was sorta a bit arkward nd weird cos i was sorta a bit bored bt couldnt think of anything to say. nd then i was just about to say about goin home nd hes like 'wanna stay again tonight?' omg got hard haha, phoned dad nd he said yes!!! he had a shower nd didnt fully shut the door bt couldnt really see bt could hear the water nd kept sounding like he was wanking lol. he prob wasnt, but i was :-P spunked in like 1 minute lol, str into my pants lol.
when i showered i left the door open even more to see if he would come in, bt he didnt. did get to wear some of his undies nd a well nice white firetrap tshirt. even tho it was clean, sorta smelled of him nd it was nice.
watched a well random weird movie called mum & dad, nd my leg was touching him for like 2 hours. was hard for ages nd think he saw it bt didnt look like he was hard :-( hope he doesnt think i got hard at the weird shit in the film cos it was just freaky.
Friday, 23 July 2010
propr horny
waiting for dad to come back to get a lift cos meeting alex :-) been txtn all day at work, frank was in a meetn so everyone was taking the piss nd not doin work lol. he even bought us donuts cos he thought we had all been workn well hard lol funny
we are gonna get takeaway nd watch movies at his. i said id pay cos i thought i got paid today but its NEXT WEEK!!! so gotta try nd get money from dad cos ill look a well twat now :-/
hes not said about stayin over bt he knows ive not got work tmrw, so im taking clothes anyway :-D not wanked today cos got up late so will prob be propr horny tonight nd will get hard well easy if he does or says anything.
well excited hope his mum goes out :-P
we are gonna get takeaway nd watch movies at his. i said id pay cos i thought i got paid today but its NEXT WEEK!!! so gotta try nd get money from dad cos ill look a well twat now :-/
hes not said about stayin over bt he knows ive not got work tmrw, so im taking clothes anyway :-D not wanked today cos got up late so will prob be propr horny tonight nd will get hard well easy if he does or says anything.
well excited hope his mum goes out :-P
Wednesday, 21 July 2010
password
bored again today :-( told kaytee nd nik i didnt wanna go out today, nd just made excuses, cos i thought id see alex nd wanted us to do something on our own. he went to his dads yesterday, nd even tho he said hed be back hes stayed over :-( ffs hes just had like 2 weeks on holiday with hin, whys he wanna go nd stay with him already!!!!! hes txt this morn nd said hes def back tmrw, bt ive got work so wont be able to see him until the evening :-(
got a bit paranoid nd tried to guess the password on alexs gmail. feel bad now even tho i didnt get in. just feel a bit like he could be laying about goin to his dads, even tho i know hes prob not.
dont want another day sat up here on the internet all day wanking. soooooooo boring.
gonna go nd see if nicholas is in.
got a bit paranoid nd tried to guess the password on alexs gmail. feel bad now even tho i didnt get in. just feel a bit like he could be laying about goin to his dads, even tho i know hes prob not.
dont want another day sat up here on the internet all day wanking. soooooooo boring.
gonna go nd see if nicholas is in.
Monday, 19 July 2010
holiday sex
had an amazing day yest!!!! alex txt me at 720 which woke me up nd put 'fancy mcd? alexx'. well made me happy nd even tho i was propr tired i got up nd got ready nd was sorta walkn around the house just excited to meet up. they had to wait for ages for their bags, nd didnt get back in oxford until like half 9. dad drove me to his nd then we walkd back in to oxford. when he saw me he was walkn towards the car nd i could see him smiling nd it made me smile :-) i think if dad had have just drove off isnt of tryn to ask him about the holiday he would have maybe given me a hug.
he talked like non stop until we got to mc d. i bought him food nd he said thanks nd sorta put his arm on my hand. id pay for his food everday forever if he touchd my arm. know its mental bt it got me rock hard in like 1 second. when we were waitin i was sorta leaning on the counter to try nd press it down cos it was well obvious. it hadnt gone down fully nd we were walkn to sit in the window nd some girls came in from the year below who we sorta know nd they were like lookn at my cock nd then whispering to each other nd pointing :-/ went really red nd hot nd then it went down. argh. what a twat :-S
stayed in oxf for a bit, was well busy nd then we went nd sat by the river nd i wantd to ask why hes been weird nd why hed ignored me bt i got scared cos didnt wanna ruin the day nd piss him off :-S arghh. we talkd about random crap nd then more about his hols. he showed me some pics on his iphone nd it did look well nice. its weird how his dad goes with them even tho they split up ages ago. i asked him if he got any holiday sex nd he just laughd nd said yeah loads, bt did the wanking thing with his hand in my face lol. wish he actually would do that in my face. bt i think that means he didnt get any sex anyway lol.
went back to mine cos just got tired of walkn around, nd we watched peep show on 4od in my room. seen it a million times bt i didnt mind cos i know he loves it. i wanted to move closer to him but not be gay, nd so moved my leg to touch his leg. he didnt say anything so i left it there for a few mins, nd sorta touched his foot a bit with my foot. he didnt do anything back nd then a well funny bit was on peep show where super hans is smoking crack at a wedding, nd alex propr loves it bt he wasnt sayn anything or laughing nd i sat up nd omg he was propr asleep lol. pulln a weird face with his mouth open lol, bt he still looked fit :-P
i laid back down nd more on my side, got well close nd could feel the heat from his bod. got rock hard nd it was pushing on the side of his leg, i just closed my eyes for like a minute nd could feel my heart beating well fast nd sorta hear it beating in my mouth. was soooo hard thought i was gonna cum :-S he moved a tiny bit nd his arm moved off his leg nd touched my leg. omg i propr nearly spunked lol. wanted to kiss him so bad, nd was thinking what to do next, bt then felt all weird nd guilty nd felt bad liked id sorta raped him cos he was asleep nd i shouldnt have pushd my cock onto him :-S i just moved away nd sat up, turned peep show really low so it didnt wake him up. felt a bit bad, nd just paranoid in case he knew what i was doin. didnt sit next to him again, just sat on my chair with my feet on the bed, nd then just watched him for ages. not in a weird way lol.
he talked like non stop until we got to mc d. i bought him food nd he said thanks nd sorta put his arm on my hand. id pay for his food everday forever if he touchd my arm. know its mental bt it got me rock hard in like 1 second. when we were waitin i was sorta leaning on the counter to try nd press it down cos it was well obvious. it hadnt gone down fully nd we were walkn to sit in the window nd some girls came in from the year below who we sorta know nd they were like lookn at my cock nd then whispering to each other nd pointing :-/ went really red nd hot nd then it went down. argh. what a twat :-S
stayed in oxf for a bit, was well busy nd then we went nd sat by the river nd i wantd to ask why hes been weird nd why hed ignored me bt i got scared cos didnt wanna ruin the day nd piss him off :-S arghh. we talkd about random crap nd then more about his hols. he showed me some pics on his iphone nd it did look well nice. its weird how his dad goes with them even tho they split up ages ago. i asked him if he got any holiday sex nd he just laughd nd said yeah loads, bt did the wanking thing with his hand in my face lol. wish he actually would do that in my face. bt i think that means he didnt get any sex anyway lol.
went back to mine cos just got tired of walkn around, nd we watched peep show on 4od in my room. seen it a million times bt i didnt mind cos i know he loves it. i wanted to move closer to him but not be gay, nd so moved my leg to touch his leg. he didnt say anything so i left it there for a few mins, nd sorta touched his foot a bit with my foot. he didnt do anything back nd then a well funny bit was on peep show where super hans is smoking crack at a wedding, nd alex propr loves it bt he wasnt sayn anything or laughing nd i sat up nd omg he was propr asleep lol. pulln a weird face with his mouth open lol, bt he still looked fit :-P
i laid back down nd more on my side, got well close nd could feel the heat from his bod. got rock hard nd it was pushing on the side of his leg, i just closed my eyes for like a minute nd could feel my heart beating well fast nd sorta hear it beating in my mouth. was soooo hard thought i was gonna cum :-S he moved a tiny bit nd his arm moved off his leg nd touched my leg. omg i propr nearly spunked lol. wanted to kiss him so bad, nd was thinking what to do next, bt then felt all weird nd guilty nd felt bad liked id sorta raped him cos he was asleep nd i shouldnt have pushd my cock onto him :-S i just moved away nd sat up, turned peep show really low so it didnt wake him up. felt a bit bad, nd just paranoid in case he knew what i was doin. didnt sit next to him again, just sat on my chair with my feet on the bed, nd then just watched him for ages. not in a weird way lol.
Saturday, 17 July 2010
peppermint
had to get up early cos getn my hair cut at 9. didnt get that much sleep cos em nd matt were well noisy when they got in, shouting and she was singing. couldnt get back to sleep nd then finally got sleepy again nd the sex noises started :-S yak!!! dad stayed at vals so everyone is getn some except for me :-(
matt is up already, so hope he will give me a lift. he made tea for em bt she stressd at him nd sent him back cos she wanted peppermint tea lol. he must fuckn propr love her cos he does anything she wants. mental. he gave me the tea tho :-) tastes like it got 4 sugars tho lol, so she is prob hungover or food poisoning AGAIN.
matt is up already, so hope he will give me a lift. he made tea for em bt she stressd at him nd sent him back cos she wanted peppermint tea lol. he must fuckn propr love her cos he does anything she wants. mental. he gave me the tea tho :-) tastes like it got 4 sugars tho lol, so she is prob hungover or food poisoning AGAIN.
Friday, 16 July 2010
love me
sooooo tired. work was well slow today :-( feels like ive been working for ever. thers a new guy thats starting on moday nd hes been in today to meet some of the sales ppl. hes called scott, hes pretty fit bt not gay i dont think.
sorta got a bit told off by frank for texting cos its not allowed even tho he didnt mind when i used to work on saturdays. felt a bit bad nd so before matt picked me up i said sorry nd hes like 'dont worry josh, just keep it to lunch times'. next week im deffo gonna get a bit hard nd go into his office nd ask him something nd like keep adjusting it so he sees lol. then he will love me again :-P
wanted to go out tonight bt everyone is doin something or on hols :-( goin to see inception tomorrow with nik nd dan, but wanna go tonight cos it looks well gd.
think matt nd em are goin to oxford nd dad is going to vals, so just gonna be sat here all night bored :-( grrrrrrr
sorta got a bit told off by frank for texting cos its not allowed even tho he didnt mind when i used to work on saturdays. felt a bit bad nd so before matt picked me up i said sorry nd hes like 'dont worry josh, just keep it to lunch times'. next week im deffo gonna get a bit hard nd go into his office nd ask him something nd like keep adjusting it so he sees lol. then he will love me again :-P
wanted to go out tonight bt everyone is doin something or on hols :-( goin to see inception tomorrow with nik nd dan, but wanna go tonight cos it looks well gd.
think matt nd em are goin to oxford nd dad is going to vals, so just gonna be sat here all night bored :-( grrrrrrr
Tuesday, 13 July 2010
ducks
been to feed the cats this morning nd nicholas left a well funny note, he says hes getn a few ducks but it looked like dicks lol :-P hope he wants me to feed them cos i like ducks and i like money :-D hope pepsi doesnt try and attack them or anything cos he is a bit violent lol
meetin up with kaytee nd jess today, they want to take me shopn. how gay lol. hope they dont want me to help them pick clothes nd stuff. we are gonna have lunch in quod nd she put 'your treat' bt they can fuck off if they think im paying! jess kept tryn me to get jamie to come bt he said no, nd she thinks i havent even asked. why doesnt she just ask if she wants him to come with us ffs girls are mental.
alex sent a pic of the pool at their apartment yesterday nd i could see a bit of his legs in the pic nd i was lookn at it for like an hour cos couldnt sleep last night, nd then i sorta made me have a wet dream that woke me up at like 5 :-S grrrrr, wasnt even nice nd then just laid awake after, miss him so much <3 i sent him a pic of smoothie i made cos he likes stuff like that nd said id make one for him when hes back.
meetin up with kaytee nd jess today, they want to take me shopn. how gay lol. hope they dont want me to help them pick clothes nd stuff. we are gonna have lunch in quod nd she put 'your treat' bt they can fuck off if they think im paying! jess kept tryn me to get jamie to come bt he said no, nd she thinks i havent even asked. why doesnt she just ask if she wants him to come with us ffs girls are mental.
alex sent a pic of the pool at their apartment yesterday nd i could see a bit of his legs in the pic nd i was lookn at it for like an hour cos couldnt sleep last night, nd then i sorta made me have a wet dream that woke me up at like 5 :-S grrrrr, wasnt even nice nd then just laid awake after, miss him so much <3 i sent him a pic of smoothie i made cos he likes stuff like that nd said id make one for him when hes back.
Sunday, 11 July 2010
olds and gays
went to brighton yesterday with dad, val, matt and em. at first it was just meant to be us four nd dad said i could take someone so txtd nik to ask him then he shouts up val is coming now so no room for a mate, im like ffs!!! lucky nik couldnt cos i would have looked like a well messer. took ages to drive down, nd vals purfume nearly killed me in the car it was sooo strong nd i kept opening the window nd then em was stressn cos it was messin her hair up grrr.
we had a well good day tho, laid on the beach for ages getn a tan nd checkn out hot guys yum. there was a women next to us who got her massive tits out nd matt was like jizzin in his pants nd looking constantly, think she liked him looking tho lol, but em didnt haha. went in the sea with matt nd he kept tryn to hold me under bt im faster at swimming :-D em didnt go in the sea once nd was a bit moody. she was just reading a book and listening to MY ipod.
had fish nd chips but wasnt that hungry nd it was too hot to eat. got a £60 parking ticket when we went back to the car, had to listen to dad for like 2 hours whinging about it. ffs was seriously thinkn about giving him £60 just to shut up :-S
not doin much today, just lazin outside. dad wants me to cut the grass but its too hot to do anything, nd hes not offering money so no way lol.
been txtn alex again, nd told him about brighton he put 'brighton is for olds and gays lol' which i think is a bit true lol, bt he didnt say anything bad about gays.cant wait for him to come back now, hope he wants to do something when he gets back to ox.
we had a well good day tho, laid on the beach for ages getn a tan nd checkn out hot guys yum. there was a women next to us who got her massive tits out nd matt was like jizzin in his pants nd looking constantly, think she liked him looking tho lol, but em didnt haha. went in the sea with matt nd he kept tryn to hold me under bt im faster at swimming :-D em didnt go in the sea once nd was a bit moody. she was just reading a book and listening to MY ipod.
had fish nd chips but wasnt that hungry nd it was too hot to eat. got a £60 parking ticket when we went back to the car, had to listen to dad for like 2 hours whinging about it. ffs was seriously thinkn about giving him £60 just to shut up :-S
not doin much today, just lazin outside. dad wants me to cut the grass but its too hot to do anything, nd hes not offering money so no way lol.
been txtn alex again, nd told him about brighton he put 'brighton is for olds and gays lol' which i think is a bit true lol, bt he didnt say anything bad about gays.cant wait for him to come back now, hope he wants to do something when he gets back to ox.
Thursday, 8 July 2010
good mood
arghhh nothing to wear in im sooooo late. gonna have to wear shorts nd hope frank doesnt think im takin the piss. alex txt me 3 times in the night nd ive not got credit so cant txt back nd in his last txt he just put '?' nd its just made me upset :-(
matt is in a weird mood cos of em so gonna be awkward in the car :-S he just needs a nice wank to put him in a good mood lol.
hope work goes quick nd hope ppl actually talk to me :-/
matt is in a weird mood cos of em so gonna be awkward in the car :-S he just needs a nice wank to put him in a good mood lol.
hope work goes quick nd hope ppl actually talk to me :-/
Tuesday, 6 July 2010
rape me
stayed up until 1 txtn alex :-) it wasnt like a propr convo just like saying nice stuff to each other nd compliments nd stuff lol. it was a bit gay. ok it was a lot gay haha.
got up early so i didnt get stressed at, nd then when he went out went back to bed for a bit lol. been outside in the garden getn more of a tan. wanted jamie to come over bt he said hes ill. which prob means hes not got any money for the train nd he doesnt want to say.
bit bored nd so went thru my fone lookn for ppl to text. txt kaytee nd now she is coming over at 3 when she has finished work nd she is brining bex. she said they are gonna get me drunk nd then date rape me lol. im like 'good times lol' :-S hope she doesnt try touchn me up again cos its a bit awkward when i dont get hard :-/
got up early so i didnt get stressed at, nd then when he went out went back to bed for a bit lol. been outside in the garden getn more of a tan. wanted jamie to come over bt he said hes ill. which prob means hes not got any money for the train nd he doesnt want to say.
bit bored nd so went thru my fone lookn for ppl to text. txt kaytee nd now she is coming over at 3 when she has finished work nd she is brining bex. she said they are gonna get me drunk nd then date rape me lol. im like 'good times lol' :-S hope she doesnt try touchn me up again cos its a bit awkward when i dont get hard :-/
Monday, 5 July 2010
in love
went on friday to see izzy and george, nd we should have been coming back on saturday afternoon bt dad had been drinking nd wouldnt drive so we had to stay again until sunday :-( well annoying nd i asked matt if he would pick me up nd he said yes but then i got a well nasty text from em saying no they wouldnt come get me nd she called me a freak :-(
saturday was gd with izzy nd george cos theyve got a pool nd it was soooooo hot. had to wear some of georges swimmers cos forgot to bring some nd, nd he gave me like the tinyest ones ever was well embarrasing. the water was cold so atleast i didnt get hard lol. me nd izzy were sun bathing for like 3 hours, got a well nice tan :-) got too hot so we laid on towels under a big pear tree nd talked about boys nd cocks for like an hour lol, i was sorta pervn at george everytime he drived in cos when he got out he adjusted his cock... EVERY TIME :-P
was well good chatn to izzy, nd shes well happy that im gay. she said she hasnt told anyone, nd george got changed in front of me nd i saw everything :-P if he knew thers no way he would have done that. he had deffo trimmed his nest cos was well short nd it looked gd. hes got well more hair than me nd its well annoying. he def gave me his old speedos on purpose nd i hated getn out of the pool in case dad or auntie maureen saw, bt didnt mind izzy seeing or george. sorta liked george looking actually lol. when we got dried we shared a towel nd i was using it first nd he took his shorts off nd was talkn about tennis nd just like fully naked :-P its prob cos he goes to a posh boys school nd they prob always do naked stuff, i bet hes done something gay before as well. even when he was dried it was ages before he put his boxers back on.
not doin much today, alex is on holiday now bt he did txt me this morning nd he said its well nice nd he put 'youd love it here alexx' omg hes not done that for soooooooooo long!! know its stupid bt its made me well happy :-) im not gonna like get too gay with him saying like missed u, or putn kisses again nd stuff :-S even tho ive been well sad nd sorta depressed for ages. i think i might be in love with him nd thats why it hurts so much.
saturday was gd with izzy nd george cos theyve got a pool nd it was soooooo hot. had to wear some of georges swimmers cos forgot to bring some nd, nd he gave me like the tinyest ones ever was well embarrasing. the water was cold so atleast i didnt get hard lol. me nd izzy were sun bathing for like 3 hours, got a well nice tan :-) got too hot so we laid on towels under a big pear tree nd talked about boys nd cocks for like an hour lol, i was sorta pervn at george everytime he drived in cos when he got out he adjusted his cock... EVERY TIME :-P
was well good chatn to izzy, nd shes well happy that im gay. she said she hasnt told anyone, nd george got changed in front of me nd i saw everything :-P if he knew thers no way he would have done that. he had deffo trimmed his nest cos was well short nd it looked gd. hes got well more hair than me nd its well annoying. he def gave me his old speedos on purpose nd i hated getn out of the pool in case dad or auntie maureen saw, bt didnt mind izzy seeing or george. sorta liked george looking actually lol. when we got dried we shared a towel nd i was using it first nd he took his shorts off nd was talkn about tennis nd just like fully naked :-P its prob cos he goes to a posh boys school nd they prob always do naked stuff, i bet hes done something gay before as well. even when he was dried it was ages before he put his boxers back on.
not doin much today, alex is on holiday now bt he did txt me this morning nd he said its well nice nd he put 'youd love it here alexx' omg hes not done that for soooooooooo long!! know its stupid bt its made me well happy :-) im not gonna like get too gay with him saying like missed u, or putn kisses again nd stuff :-S even tho ive been well sad nd sorta depressed for ages. i think i might be in love with him nd thats why it hurts so much.
Thursday, 1 July 2010
all these rules
work wasnt that boring today, nt as bad as last week. i took my mac with me nd went on it at lunch cos otherwise it goes well slow nd everyone else talks about stuff bt not many people talk to me cos im new. frank sat with me for like 5 mins nd just talked about random shit. i thought he might not be that camp when everyone else is there bt omg hes exactly the same lol.
not allowed to text apart from on lunch which is a bit annoyn cos frank wasnt giving out all these rules when it was just me on saturdays :-S today ive been putting invoices on the accounts system then adding up the total to make sure ive done them all properly. its ok, nd better than just stood up shredding for hours. theres one woman thats nice called jean whos in the other office, none of the women in the main office talk to me.
got a lift back with matt nd i gave him 10 towards petrol cos dad said i should. just got home now nd val is here again, shes brought us a juicer which is nice bt nows shes moved everything around in the kitchen, propr taking over :-S
still not seen alex for ages nd think hes goin to italy again on sunday for like 2 weeks :-/
was gonna be goin out with nik nd dan tonight but cba now so gotta think of an excuse. just wanna laze tonight nd watch tv with matt, em is out nd dad nd val are going out for a meal. hope i can get matt a bit drunk :-p
not allowed to text apart from on lunch which is a bit annoyn cos frank wasnt giving out all these rules when it was just me on saturdays :-S today ive been putting invoices on the accounts system then adding up the total to make sure ive done them all properly. its ok, nd better than just stood up shredding for hours. theres one woman thats nice called jean whos in the other office, none of the women in the main office talk to me.
got a lift back with matt nd i gave him 10 towards petrol cos dad said i should. just got home now nd val is here again, shes brought us a juicer which is nice bt nows shes moved everything around in the kitchen, propr taking over :-S
still not seen alex for ages nd think hes goin to italy again on sunday for like 2 weeks :-/
was gonna be goin out with nik nd dan tonight but cba now so gotta think of an excuse. just wanna laze tonight nd watch tv with matt, em is out nd dad nd val are going out for a meal. hope i can get matt a bit drunk :-p
Tuesday, 29 June 2010
fuck buddies
still been ignored by alex :-( he came on msn last night but then signed off like 1 second later, he prob didnt sign off more like blocked me. so i txt him nd im like 'so when we meeting up mate?' i actually put mate lol, just tryn to be all manly :-/
dad has made me get up again cos he thinks im gonna waste my life if i laze in bed a couple of mornings a week. hes suck a dick bt i just cba to argue with him. heard him on the phone again to val this morning, think they were talking about money bt omg i hope shes not gonna bleed us dry. he would probably sell my kidneys to give her money cos hes blates in love with her even tho he still says they are just friends. matt said they are fuck buddies lol yak think im gonna vom.
had a good aft with jamie yesterday, even tho has to listen to him talkn about girls like every other sentence. well wanted to put more sun cream on him, or maybe some of my special milky cream lol.
want him to come to oxford today cos meetn some ppl, bt dunno whether to tell him cos i know hatty is coming, nd it might look like ive done it on purpose. wish we were as close as we used to be cos if we were i think id propr tell him im gay, bt just not mention how ive wanted to get in his pants for like 5 years lol.
dad has made me get up again cos he thinks im gonna waste my life if i laze in bed a couple of mornings a week. hes suck a dick bt i just cba to argue with him. heard him on the phone again to val this morning, think they were talking about money bt omg i hope shes not gonna bleed us dry. he would probably sell my kidneys to give her money cos hes blates in love with her even tho he still says they are just friends. matt said they are fuck buddies lol yak think im gonna vom.
had a good aft with jamie yesterday, even tho has to listen to him talkn about girls like every other sentence. well wanted to put more sun cream on him, or maybe some of my special milky cream lol.
want him to come to oxford today cos meetn some ppl, bt dunno whether to tell him cos i know hatty is coming, nd it might look like ive done it on purpose. wish we were as close as we used to be cos if we were i think id propr tell him im gay, bt just not mention how ive wanted to get in his pants for like 5 years lol.
Monday, 28 June 2010
the list
been out in the garden with jamie getn a tan. too hot tho now nd so we are making a healthy fruit salad with loads of nice stuff dad got yesterday. got some sun block nd got jamie to rub it on my back lol, got me rock hard in like 1 millisecond :-P i put loads on his back nd rubbed it for like 5 minutes lol. id put so much on it was still all on my hands so i wiped it across his stomach :-D well horny. he didnt say anything gay even as a joke, he prob didnt realise i was about to spunk in my shorts lol.
dont want dad to come back cos he will start stressn cos havent done a single thing on the list of stuff he said i had to do today, apart from not lay in bed all day, bt instead ive done laying in the garden all day lol.
dont want dad to come back cos he will start stressn cos havent done a single thing on the list of stuff he said i had to do today, apart from not lay in bed all day, bt instead ive done laying in the garden all day lol.
Thursday, 24 June 2010
second first day
saw jamie for a bit yesterday, he came over nd we sat in the garden nd lazed. saw his bulge nd couldnt stop looking at it, had to lay on my front lol cos got a propr hard on nd well obvious in shorts lol. hes not seen his mum for nearly 2 months :-S nd he thinks she has moved to newbury. he doesnt seem bothered at all bt it makes me feel sad.
made me have a weird dream about his gran having a heart attack nd then the hospital said she was gonna die nd so dad let him move in with us, but he wasnt allowed to sleep in my room cos em told dad i would rape him lol. propr mental dream nd sorta turned into a wet dream lol, bt omg felt like it was actually happening until i heard matt shouting at me to get up. id done like 3 piriton yesterday afternoon nd that stuff does give me head fuck dreams.
gotta leave in 10 mins for my sorta second first day, even tho its not really my first day, but it feels like it is, nd feel well nervous again. hope ppl are nice to me cos it wont just be me nd frank today :-S
made me have a weird dream about his gran having a heart attack nd then the hospital said she was gonna die nd so dad let him move in with us, but he wasnt allowed to sleep in my room cos em told dad i would rape him lol. propr mental dream nd sorta turned into a wet dream lol, bt omg felt like it was actually happening until i heard matt shouting at me to get up. id done like 3 piriton yesterday afternoon nd that stuff does give me head fuck dreams.
gotta leave in 10 mins for my sorta second first day, even tho its not really my first day, but it feels like it is, nd feel well nervous again. hope ppl are nice to me cos it wont just be me nd frank today :-S
Tuesday, 22 June 2010
proper employee
ive got a job :-) gonna be working full days on thurs nd fri every week, nd no more saturdays. if it goes well frank said i might be able to go up to 3 days a week for the summer. bt he said he cant pay me cash anymore nd ive got to be a proper employee, which sounds good, bt its a bit shit cos of tax so just looking on the net tryn to find out how much taxes i will have to pay. its well confusing so nt sure :-S i asked if i have to buy a suit nd he just laughed nd said i can wear whatever. he prob wants me to wear nothing haha.
gonna ask matt if he will drive me cos he works at the science park, nd chalgrove isnt that far. bt didnt want to ask in front of em cos she would interrupt nd say no. she didnt say that much about it but dad said he was 'very pleased' which felt nice :-) we had wine with dinner nd he said we should be having champagne so im deffo in his good books :-)
jamie txt earlier askn when the party is lol. hes such a twat lol, im like, 'its last week, are u coming?'. well wanna meet up soon nd get pissd cos i sorta miss him.
gonna ask matt if he will drive me cos he works at the science park, nd chalgrove isnt that far. bt didnt want to ask in front of em cos she would interrupt nd say no. she didnt say that much about it but dad said he was 'very pleased' which felt nice :-) we had wine with dinner nd he said we should be having champagne so im deffo in his good books :-)
jamie txt earlier askn when the party is lol. hes such a twat lol, im like, 'its last week, are u coming?'. well wanna meet up soon nd get pissd cos i sorta miss him.
Sunday, 20 June 2010
bored = wanking
got a txt from alex at like 7 this mornin just saying wuu2. random!!!! i put 'just laid in bed bored' nd replied in like 1 second nd said 'bored = wanking :-P' was thinkn of something to put back for ages but he txt again nd said hes got all series 1 of facejacker nd askd if i wanna watch it. im like 'yeah ok what time?' bt omg im like YAYYYYYY well surprised he wants me to come over. hope its not a joke or something :-S
dad is making breakfast nd val is here so weve got flowers in the kitchen and in the dining room lol. i dont even like flowers cos they smell weird nd its prob not even hygenic cos of all the pollen dust.
em nd matt went out last night nd she is still in bed. matt says shes ill and it could be food poisning, well its a bit of a fuckn coincidence how she always gets food poisoning after goin out in oxford!! she is laid in bed pretending to be ill bt dad says im rude cos im on my macbook at the table. ffs its not even ready yet nd i cba to listen to careers advice from val. matt never walks around in his undies when she is here :-( its the one thing about sunday i like cos he doesnt normally get dressed til lunch, nd shes ruined it. grrr.
dad is making breakfast nd val is here so weve got flowers in the kitchen and in the dining room lol. i dont even like flowers cos they smell weird nd its prob not even hygenic cos of all the pollen dust.
em nd matt went out last night nd she is still in bed. matt says shes ill and it could be food poisning, well its a bit of a fuckn coincidence how she always gets food poisoning after goin out in oxford!! she is laid in bed pretending to be ill bt dad says im rude cos im on my macbook at the table. ffs its not even ready yet nd i cba to listen to careers advice from val. matt never walks around in his undies when she is here :-( its the one thing about sunday i like cos he doesnt normally get dressed til lunch, nd shes ruined it. grrr.
Saturday, 19 June 2010
up his bum
didnt get wrecked last night bt it was a good night. nik txt randomly nd asked if he could get a lift nd i was sorta pleased cos i hate arriving at places on my own.
nik had like 1 wkd nd he was magically pissed nd startd stripping off. he loves it lol. kaytee kept comin up to me every 5 mins going 'we need a girlie chat'. arghhh!!! so in the end we sat outside nd ended up talkn in she was sorta leaning on me, nd then that changed to a hug nd then that changed to a snuggle. she wasnt that pissd, we shared like a big bottle of wkd bt its not that strong. it was her doin all the stuff bt i didnt stop her cos it felt a bit nice. not cos i like her like that, bt cos i sorta like it when girls like me lol. mental.
she said if i dont keep in touch she will bite my cock off lol. nice haha. she got all gooey nd actually said some pretty nice things about me, think she wanted something to happen :-S lol so i prob disappointed her lol.
alex didnt turn up at all, nd ppl were askn me like i should know where he is ffs. there was another party in thame that we got invited to, so he prob went to that on purpose. i did wanna go to that as well but dad would have stressed having to drive to thame to pick me up.
we all went in cos it was getn propr cold, nd nik was climbing on the sofas nd running around like hes 5. he climbed on me nd sat on my shoulders, omg had his cock pressing on my neck :-P horny
a few ppl went home early nd by 12 there was only about 10 of us left. they all wanted to do truth or dare bt i fuckin hate that cos i always think ppl are gonna ask if im gay :-S nik asked bex if she has ever used a vibrator nd she said yes lol. well funny!!! nd jess asked dan if hed ever put a finger up his bum nd he said no bt he paused for ages nd went well embarrassed so he blates has.
me nd nik both said dare, i had to let jess put frozen peas down my pants :-S nd they made nik lick the guinea pigs head lol. well wanted them to dare me to suck niks big cock lol or wank on ryans face :-P
nik had like 1 wkd nd he was magically pissed nd startd stripping off. he loves it lol. kaytee kept comin up to me every 5 mins going 'we need a girlie chat'. arghhh!!! so in the end we sat outside nd ended up talkn in she was sorta leaning on me, nd then that changed to a hug nd then that changed to a snuggle. she wasnt that pissd, we shared like a big bottle of wkd bt its not that strong. it was her doin all the stuff bt i didnt stop her cos it felt a bit nice. not cos i like her like that, bt cos i sorta like it when girls like me lol. mental.
she said if i dont keep in touch she will bite my cock off lol. nice haha. she got all gooey nd actually said some pretty nice things about me, think she wanted something to happen :-S lol so i prob disappointed her lol.
alex didnt turn up at all, nd ppl were askn me like i should know where he is ffs. there was another party in thame that we got invited to, so he prob went to that on purpose. i did wanna go to that as well but dad would have stressed having to drive to thame to pick me up.
we all went in cos it was getn propr cold, nd nik was climbing on the sofas nd running around like hes 5. he climbed on me nd sat on my shoulders, omg had his cock pressing on my neck :-P horny
a few ppl went home early nd by 12 there was only about 10 of us left. they all wanted to do truth or dare bt i fuckin hate that cos i always think ppl are gonna ask if im gay :-S nik asked bex if she has ever used a vibrator nd she said yes lol. well funny!!! nd jess asked dan if hed ever put a finger up his bum nd he said no bt he paused for ages nd went well embarrassed so he blates has.
me nd nik both said dare, i had to let jess put frozen peas down my pants :-S nd they made nik lick the guinea pigs head lol. well wanted them to dare me to suck niks big cock lol or wank on ryans face :-P
Thursday, 17 June 2010
im free
well sad today bt also feels prop amazing cos no more exams nd revision!!! said bye to loads of ppl nd got like kisses nd hugs from about 30 girls lol. loads of the girls cried nd it was a bit emotional nd i will miss loads of people.
sat on the field with everyone nd only just got home. gotta shower cos i let jess and kaytee draw stuff on my chest lol. they put an arrow down to my cock nd wrote 'BIG BOY' lol. met one of kaytees friends from cheney whos called rob nd think he might be a bit gay, nd i swear kaytee was tryn to make us talk nd get to know each other. hes not that fit, hes ok, but not like as hot as other ppl i like. alex stayed until about 5 nd we did chat for a bit, but he hasnt txt back about meetn tomorrow. i wanna get new jeans nd a new superdry tshirt tomorrow cos need new stuff for the party.
dad has given me £100 nd said there will be more if i get good results :-) i wanted him to say sorry for been horrible nd stuff bt he didnt cos he thinks he can make me do anything nd is well controlling.
ive txtd frank about work but hes not replied yet. really hope he doesnt hate me.
sat on the field with everyone nd only just got home. gotta shower cos i let jess and kaytee draw stuff on my chest lol. they put an arrow down to my cock nd wrote 'BIG BOY' lol. met one of kaytees friends from cheney whos called rob nd think he might be a bit gay, nd i swear kaytee was tryn to make us talk nd get to know each other. hes not that fit, hes ok, but not like as hot as other ppl i like. alex stayed until about 5 nd we did chat for a bit, but he hasnt txt back about meetn tomorrow. i wanna get new jeans nd a new superdry tshirt tomorrow cos need new stuff for the party.
dad has given me £100 nd said there will be more if i get good results :-) i wanted him to say sorry for been horrible nd stuff bt he didnt cos he thinks he can make me do anything nd is well controlling.
ive txtd frank about work but hes not replied yet. really hope he doesnt hate me.
Tuesday, 15 June 2010
me time / mac time
been working well hard all day again, nd dad has gone out so put the router on nd slying some me time / mac time :-) better rememebr to turn it back off this time tho haha.
he has been a twat today, nd only gave me a lift so i came straight home. he probs think ill escape nd then run away nd be a rent boy lol. been to a revision group today for 2 hours nd saw alex, didnt say that much but he didnt ignore me. he also txt me back earlier cos i asked him if he wantd a lift on thurs, he said no bt he wasnt mean nd he put 'good luck mate'.
last exam on thurs, cant wait cos theres a massive party on friday nd im gonna get soooo pissed :-D
having chinese tonight cos dad nd val have gone out, nd even em said ive been workn hard so its sort of a treat. just gotta wait for matt to get back nd drive us.
he has been a twat today, nd only gave me a lift so i came straight home. he probs think ill escape nd then run away nd be a rent boy lol. been to a revision group today for 2 hours nd saw alex, didnt say that much but he didnt ignore me. he also txt me back earlier cos i asked him if he wantd a lift on thurs, he said no bt he wasnt mean nd he put 'good luck mate'.
last exam on thurs, cant wait cos theres a massive party on friday nd im gonna get soooo pissed :-D
having chinese tonight cos dad nd val have gone out, nd even em said ive been workn hard so its sort of a treat. just gotta wait for matt to get back nd drive us.
Sunday, 6 June 2010
depressed
feelin well depressed, had a shit week, nd not heard from alex since wednesday morning. dad had a massive stress with me nd has told frank i cant work any hours until all exams are done. think hes gonna sack me now anyway cos he prob well hates me.
dad has been making me revise in the dining room nd telling me when i can have breaks nd just been a controlling twat. he comes in nd checked on me like very 20 mins nd i got like 99999 questions when he thought id been on my macbook bt i was actually in the toilet.
all week apart from today hes made me get up at 8 nd then start revising nd doin practise questions. not left the house since thursday nd feel like im a prisoner.
jamie called came over randomly on thursday night nd it felt well good to see him, bt after like 45 mins dad came in nd sorta said he had to go nd i felt such a nob, nd it made me feel really sad cos i rememberd how we used to be well gd mates.
just feel a bit lonely nd while hes controlling my life like this its making me feel upset nd doesnt matter how much time i spend revising if im feeln like this in the exams i just wont be able to concentrate.
tried to talk to matt last night nd he says he just wants to keep out of it :-(
dad has been making me revise in the dining room nd telling me when i can have breaks nd just been a controlling twat. he comes in nd checked on me like very 20 mins nd i got like 99999 questions when he thought id been on my macbook bt i was actually in the toilet.
all week apart from today hes made me get up at 8 nd then start revising nd doin practise questions. not left the house since thursday nd feel like im a prisoner.
jamie called came over randomly on thursday night nd it felt well good to see him, bt after like 45 mins dad came in nd sorta said he had to go nd i felt such a nob, nd it made me feel really sad cos i rememberd how we used to be well gd mates.
just feel a bit lonely nd while hes controlling my life like this its making me feel upset nd doesnt matter how much time i spend revising if im feeln like this in the exams i just wont be able to concentrate.
tried to talk to matt last night nd he says he just wants to keep out of it :-(
Tuesday, 1 June 2010
taking it seriously
frank askd if i wanted to work today nd tmrw, nd i said yes, bt found out that dad phoned him nd said i couldnt cos i was revising!!!!!! so propr look like a well child now :-( i text frank last night nd said sorry for messn in around nd he just put 'OKJOSH'. hes mad lol.
didnt do any revising yesterday bt gonna do some this week. he thinks i was revising all day yesterday cos i was up in my room nd left my mac in the kitchen on purpose, so he didnt think i was on the internet. bt cos em nd matt went out for the day i used ems laptop lol. he came upstairs at 3 nd said id been working really hard nd he was glad i was taking it seriously.
watched matt getn ready this morning nd running around in his pants lol. he was late again, like i always am.
gonna have breakfast now, get showered nd start at 10. omg internet is so distracting tho :-S
didnt do any revising yesterday bt gonna do some this week. he thinks i was revising all day yesterday cos i was up in my room nd left my mac in the kitchen on purpose, so he didnt think i was on the internet. bt cos em nd matt went out for the day i used ems laptop lol. he came upstairs at 3 nd said id been working really hard nd he was glad i was taking it seriously.
watched matt getn ready this morning nd running around in his pants lol. he was late again, like i always am.
gonna have breakfast now, get showered nd start at 10. omg internet is so distracting tho :-S
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