new number

got a text from alex today saying hes got a new number. prolly sent it to everyone but its the first thing ive head from him for nearly 2 months :/ really wanna reply but dont know what to put. he obv hasnt deleted me from his iphone bt he could have sent it by accident if he sent it to everyone. i dont know what to do!?!?!? fml

been seeing jamie loads, and hes just started working in oxford now, so went to kfc yesterday and monday at lunch. his mum is moving to spain cos shes gonna be running a bar. he said he wont miss her but i know he will. even ill sorta miss her lol.

the ppl on my course are ok, made a well good friend called sophie who knows im gay bt not really told anyone else, bt also not trying to hide it. and think sops has told a coulpe of ppl, and im happy with it. that prob makes no sense lol.

not been to councilling this week cos told dad i had some group work to do. tried to get served in copa with sops but i got IDd and she didnt!!! ffs. its cos shes fit and looks older and the bar man blates wanted to fuck her lol.

sorta been avoiding nicholas cos i dont know what dad has said to him, and hes not asked me to look after dolce and pepsi for ages. he obs knows i dont work for frank anymore. fml. dad is such a controlling bastard hes tried to ruin my life seriously. sops came over last night nd i cooked her an egg sandwich :) she said im a domestic god lol. dad was like jizzing in his pants cos he prob thinks ive turned normal again, nd cos he blates wants to do her haha. she is well fit. i wanted matt to meet her but they were out.

just lazing tonight and reading old texts from alex :/

password

bored again today :-( told kaytee nd nik i didnt wanna go out today, nd just made excuses, cos i thought id see alex nd wanted us to do something on our own. he went to his dads yesterday, nd even tho he said hed be back hes stayed over :-( ffs hes just had like 2 weeks on holiday with hin, whys he wanna go nd stay with him already!!!!! hes txt this morn nd said hes def back tmrw, bt ive got work so wont be able to see him until the evening :-(

got a bit paranoid nd tried to guess the password on alexs gmail. feel bad now even tho i didnt get in. just feel a bit like he could be laying about goin to his dads, even tho i know hes prob not.

dont want another day sat up here on the internet all day wanking. soooooooo boring.

gonna go nd see if nicholas is in.

ducks

been to feed the cats this morning nd nicholas left a well funny note, he says hes getn a few ducks but it looked like dicks lol :-P hope he wants me to feed them cos i like ducks and i like money :-D hope pepsi doesnt try and attack them or anything cos he is a bit violent lol

meetin up with kaytee nd jess today, they want to take me shopn. how gay lol. hope they dont want me to help them pick clothes nd stuff. we are gonna have lunch in quod nd she put 'your treat' bt they can fuck off if they think im paying! jess kept tryn me to get jamie to come bt he said no, nd she thinks i havent even asked. why doesnt she just ask if she wants him to come with us ffs girls are mental.

alex sent a pic of the pool at their apartment yesterday nd i could see a bit of his legs in the pic nd i was lookn at it for like an hour cos couldnt sleep last night, nd then i sorta made me have a wet dream that woke me up at like 5 :-S grrrrr, wasnt even nice nd then just laid awake after, miss him so much <3 i sent him a pic of smoothie i made cos he likes stuff like that nd said id make one for him when hes back.