pretty good

thanx for all the emails. im not dead or anything lol.

life is pretty good atm, working for frank again, and me nd sops are lookn at renting a flat in oxford. prob end up on blackbird leys cos everything near me is well expensive. but will be well good. not told dad nd val cos think they will think im rushing in to things but i love sops to bits nd we are well besties :)

so much has happened to me since the summer and its like my life now is nothing like my old one. thinking about blogging properly again but im not gonna lie, its sorta been nice not having to think about blogging. but then some days i miss it loads, and u guys are great cos u all email me to check im ok and stuff.

for ages i wantd a boyfriend more than anything in the world. but ben hurt me a lot cos he lied about a lot of stuff about his life and then i found out hes done porn and everything and it just made me feel shit. just felt weird knowing thousands of ppl have seen him naked and it just feels like its not special for us. he is propr wrong in the head nd even tho we are friends a bit i dont see him that often.

em has had an abortion even tho they all think i do know, i do cos i saw the letter and it nearly caused them to split up cos matt hates stuff like that. so much shit happening in this house no wonder i want to leave.

each other

had a well freaky evening yesterady, went in to oxford with sops and we met up with ben. all in mcd and we were just about to go when omg alex came in, he looked striaght thru me even tho i sorta waved. totally ignored me bt the weird thing is it actually didnt bother me that much. sops was like 'JOSH!!!! thats him isnt it?' cos ive told her evertyhing that happened and what i did, and i was just like ermmmmm and tryn to give her a weird look to stop her saying any mroe stuff cos didnt want ben to know or him to think i didnt like him or i like someone else.

was a bit glad alex as on his own, he sat like as far away from us as possible, and facing the wall a bit. hes got new friends as well cos he met up with 2 ppl, they were both well fit, nd that sorta made me a bit jealous but i just stopped thinking about it, and looked at ben, cos omg hes well more fit and hot than them.

sops got picked up then was just me and ben, nd we went for starbucks and i had a white mocca and he had coffee caramel frap. how gay lol. we shared each others drinks which was really nice nd made me get propr hard. went to the toilet nd id even precumd a bit lol. im a weirdo cos probably no one else in the world would get hard over sharing a frappuccino.

he drove me home nd we were sat in his car for a few mins, got a bit arkward and omg he put his hand on my knee made me jump a bit cos i wasnt expecting it nd all i could think about was kissing him nd my cock was twitching like it was about to jizz lol then matt nd em had to ruin it all and parked behind us and came up to the car nd em is like 'what you doin boys?' nd then she laughed before we said anything and said 'each other' really loud to matt. well embarrassing. sorta had to go in the house then with them and say bye to ben which was weirdly awkward. fml.

dad and val were out so gutted em and matt came home cos i well wanted him to come in for a bit.

stayed up until nearly 2 texting. dont even know what about, just random stuff and like he pays me compliments all the time nd makes me feel well nice. he said if he has to wait another week before meeting up again hes gonna come and stalk me :p