im free

well sad today bt also feels prop amazing cos no more exams nd revision!!! said bye to loads of ppl nd got like kisses nd hugs from about 30 girls lol. loads of the girls cried nd it was a bit emotional nd i will miss loads of people.

sat on the field with everyone nd only just got home. gotta shower cos i let jess and kaytee draw stuff on my chest lol. they put an arrow down to my cock nd wrote 'BIG BOY' lol. met one of kaytees friends from cheney whos called rob nd think he might be a bit gay, nd i swear kaytee was tryn to make us talk nd get to know each other. hes not that fit, hes ok, but not like as hot as other ppl i like. alex stayed until about 5 nd we did chat for a bit, but he hasnt txt back about meetn tomorrow. i wanna get new jeans nd a new superdry tshirt tomorrow cos need new stuff for the party.

dad has given me £100 nd said there will be more if i get good results :-) i wanted him to say sorry for been horrible nd stuff bt he didnt cos he thinks he can make me do anything nd is well controlling.

ive txtd frank about work but hes not replied yet. really hope he doesnt hate me.

me time / mac time

been working well hard all day again, nd dad has gone out so put the router on nd slying some me time / mac time :-) better rememebr to turn it back off this time tho haha.

he has been a twat today, nd only gave me a lift so i came straight home. he probs think ill escape nd then run away nd be a rent boy lol. been to a revision group today for 2 hours nd saw alex, didnt say that much but he didnt ignore me. he also txt me back earlier cos i asked him if he wantd a lift on thurs, he said no bt he wasnt mean nd he put 'good luck mate'.

last exam on thurs, cant wait cos theres a massive party on friday nd im gonna get soooo pissed :-D

having chinese tonight cos dad nd val have gone out, nd even em said ive been workn hard so its sort of a treat. just gotta wait for matt to get back nd drive us.

depressed

feelin well depressed, had a shit week, nd not heard from alex since wednesday morning. dad had a massive stress with me nd has told frank i cant work any hours until all exams are done. think hes gonna sack me now anyway cos he prob well hates me.

dad has been making me revise in the dining room nd telling me when i can have breaks nd just been a controlling twat. he comes in nd checked on me like very 20 mins nd i got like 99999 questions when he thought id been on my macbook bt i was actually in the toilet.

all week apart from today hes made me get up at 8 nd then start revising nd doin practise questions. not left the house since thursday nd feel like im a prisoner.

jamie called came over randomly on thursday night nd it felt well good to see him, bt after like 45 mins dad came in nd sorta said he had to go nd i felt such a nob, nd it made me feel really sad cos i rememberd how we used to be well gd mates.

just feel a bit lonely nd while hes controlling my life like this its making me feel upset nd doesnt matter how much time i spend revising if im feeln like this in the exams i just wont be able to concentrate.

tried to talk to matt last night nd he says he just wants to keep out of it :-(

taking it seriously

frank askd if i wanted to work today nd tmrw, nd i said yes, bt found out that dad phoned him nd said i couldnt cos i was revising!!!!!! so propr look like a well child now :-( i text frank last night nd said sorry for messn in around nd he just put 'OKJOSH'. hes mad lol.

didnt do any revising yesterday bt gonna do some this week. he thinks i was revising all day yesterday cos i was up in my room nd left my mac in the kitchen on purpose, so he didnt think i was on the internet. bt cos em nd matt went out for the day i used ems laptop lol. he came upstairs at 3 nd said id been working really hard nd he was glad i was taking it seriously.

watched matt getn ready this morning nd running around in his pants lol. he was late again, like i always am.

gonna have breakfast now, get showered nd start at 10. omg internet is so distracting tho :-S