wish me luck

started seeing dad again after xmas. just on saturdays for coffee and sometimes breakfast. its pretty random with lots of awkward silences. he said hes bringing val tomorrow. cant wait!

sorta living at my friends flat now, nd hoping he doesnt get back with his boyf cos then i'll actually be homeless. been sleeping with him as well since valentines day :/ not good. he cooked a big steak and did homemade chips and we shared it and had two bottles of the cheapest most vile wine ever. we were horny, bored, drunk...  it just sorta happened. slightly arwkard next morning. thought that would be the end of it. but no.

it wasnt great, the best thing about it was i didnt have to sleep on the hardest lumpiest sofa ever. but its kinda hard to stop it now cos i dont want to appear impolite or ungrateful that im living here rent free!

last night i actually used the famous headache routine. which worked at first, i even had 3 nurofen to be convincing. but i woke up in the night to find him viciously wanking at my cock, which was unsurprisingly rock hard.  he seemed happy enough to swallow, and i somehow managed to avoid doing anything back to him, but did have to lay there while he leaned over me and shot on my stomach. lights were off, so hopefully he didnt see me pulling faces.  not sure i can avoid him tonight though. wish me luck.

rape me

stayed up until 1 txtn alex :-) it wasnt like a propr convo just like saying nice stuff to each other nd compliments nd stuff lol. it was a bit gay. ok it was a lot gay haha.

got up early so i didnt get stressed at, nd then when he went out went back to bed for a bit lol. been outside in the garden getn more of a tan. wanted jamie to come over bt he said hes ill. which prob means hes not got any money for the train nd he doesnt want to say.

bit bored nd so went thru my fone lookn for ppl to text. txt kaytee nd now she is coming over at 3 when she has finished work nd she is brining bex. she said they are gonna get me drunk nd then date rape me lol. im like 'good times lol' :-S hope she doesnt try touchn me up again cos its a bit awkward when i dont get hard :-/

all these rules

work wasnt that boring today, nt as bad as last week. i took my mac with me nd went on it at lunch cos otherwise it goes well slow nd everyone else talks about stuff bt not many people talk to me cos im new. frank sat with me for like 5 mins nd just talked about random shit. i thought he might not be that camp when everyone else is there bt omg hes exactly the same lol.

not allowed to text apart from on lunch which is a bit annoyn cos frank wasnt giving out all these rules when it was just me on saturdays :-S today ive been putting invoices on the accounts system then adding up the total to make sure ive done them all properly. its ok, nd better than just stood up shredding for hours. theres one woman thats nice called jean whos in the other office, none of the women in the main office talk to me.

got a lift back with matt nd i gave him 10 towards petrol cos dad said i should. just got home now nd val is here again, shes brought us a juicer which is nice bt nows shes moved everything around in the kitchen, propr taking over :-S

still not seen alex for ages nd think hes goin to italy again on sunday for like 2 weeks :-/

was gonna be goin out with nik nd dan tonight but cba now so gotta think of an excuse. just wanna laze tonight nd watch tv with matt, em is out nd dad nd val are going out for a meal. hope i can get matt a bit drunk :-p