own keys

nik came over last night cos he wanted to borrow our wii controller, thought he would stay for a bit bd he went after like 10 mins. RUDE!! hed got fake tan on nd it looked propr shit nd a bit orange lol. didnt say anything bt propr lol'd in my pants when hed gone. what a gay!!!!

hes havin a party at end of aug nd said ive got to tweet about it cos not enough ppl are goin yet. he said to get jamie to come nd i said ill ask alex nd hes like alex is already coming hes makin the best ever playlist. sorta got me a bit pissd off that alex knew about it before me nd never said anything :-/

FFS this takes the piss!!!! sounded like dad was home so went downstairs to see why he was back already nd val is there goin 'hello josh' nd smiling at me. ffs no wonder shes smiling if shes got her own keys!!!!! ffs when was he gonna ask me nd em if she could just have her own keys nd just walk in. i could have been naked or anything.

again tonight

well gd weekend with alex, stayed at his for 2 nights. his mum said i could stay again tonight bt dad wanted me to come home :-( dunno why cos now hes gone to toot baldon with val. ffs so home alone cos em nd matt arent back.

stayed up til 5 on friday!!!!!! it was fully light nd we were tryn to get to sleep lol. slept on the floor next to his bed, bt we had been laid on his bed for like 4 hours anyway just talking about random stuff nd watchn tv. we slept until about half 3 in the afternoon when his mum came back from shopn nd then she did us a well good breakfast with bacon, sausage, beans and toast.

didnt do that much on sat, tried to get served in tesco lol bt waste of time nd well embarrassing. prob easier to steal vodka than it is to buy it lol. waited outside for ages to see if we could get someone to buy it for us bt just bottled out of askn anyone.

walked back nd then it was sorta a bit arkward nd weird cos i was sorta a bit bored bt couldnt think of anything to say. nd then i was just about to say about goin home nd hes like 'wanna stay again tonight?' omg got hard haha, phoned dad nd he said yes!!! he had a shower nd didnt fully shut the door bt couldnt really see bt could hear the water nd kept sounding like he was wanking lol. he prob wasnt, but i was :-P spunked in like 1 minute lol, str into my pants lol.

when i showered i left the door open even more to see if he would come in, bt he didnt. did get to wear some of his undies nd a well nice white firetrap tshirt. even tho it was clean, sorta smelled of him nd it was nice.

watched a well random weird movie called mum & dad, nd my leg was touching him for like 2 hours. was hard for ages nd think he saw it bt didnt look like he was hard :-( hope he doesnt think i got hard at the weird shit in the film cos it was just freaky.

propr horny

waiting for dad to come back to get a lift cos meeting alex :-) been txtn all day at work, frank was in a meetn so everyone was taking the piss nd not doin work lol. he even bought us donuts cos he thought we had all been workn well hard lol funny

we are gonna get takeaway nd watch movies at his. i said id pay cos i thought i got paid today but its NEXT WEEK!!! so gotta try nd get money from dad cos ill look a well twat now :-/

hes not said about stayin over bt he knows ive not got work tmrw, so im taking clothes anyway :-D not wanked today cos got up late so will prob be propr horny tonight nd will get hard well easy if he does or says anything.

well excited hope his mum goes out :-P

password

bored again today :-( told kaytee nd nik i didnt wanna go out today, nd just made excuses, cos i thought id see alex nd wanted us to do something on our own. he went to his dads yesterday, nd even tho he said hed be back hes stayed over :-( ffs hes just had like 2 weeks on holiday with hin, whys he wanna go nd stay with him already!!!!! hes txt this morn nd said hes def back tmrw, bt ive got work so wont be able to see him until the evening :-(

got a bit paranoid nd tried to guess the password on alexs gmail. feel bad now even tho i didnt get in. just feel a bit like he could be laying about goin to his dads, even tho i know hes prob not.

dont want another day sat up here on the internet all day wanking. soooooooo boring.

gonna go nd see if nicholas is in.

holiday sex

had an amazing day yest!!!! alex txt me at 720 which woke me up nd put 'fancy mcd? alexx'. well made me happy nd even tho i was propr tired i got up nd got ready nd was sorta walkn around the house just excited to meet up. they had to wait for ages for their bags, nd didnt get back in oxford until like half 9. dad drove me to his nd then we walkd back in to oxford. when he saw me he was walkn towards the car nd i could see him smiling nd it made me smile :-) i think if dad had have just drove off isnt of tryn to ask him about the holiday he would have maybe given me a hug.

he talked like non stop until we got to mc d. i bought him food nd he said thanks nd sorta put his arm on my hand. id pay for his food everday forever if he touchd my arm. know its mental bt it got me rock hard in like 1 second. when we were waitin i was sorta leaning on the counter to try nd press it down cos it was well obvious. it hadnt gone down fully nd we were walkn to sit in the window nd some girls came in from the year below who we sorta know nd they were like lookn at my cock nd then whispering to each other nd pointing :-/ went really red nd hot nd then it went down. argh. what a twat :-S

stayed in oxf for a bit, was well busy nd then we went nd sat by the river nd i wantd to ask why hes been weird nd why hed ignored me bt i got scared cos didnt wanna ruin the day nd piss him off :-S arghh. we talkd about random crap nd then more about his hols. he showed me some pics on his iphone nd it did look well nice. its weird how his dad goes with them even tho they split up ages ago. i asked him if he got any holiday sex nd he just laughd nd said yeah loads, bt did the wanking thing with his hand in my face lol. wish he actually would do that in my face. bt i think that means he didnt get any sex anyway lol.

went back to mine cos just got tired of walkn around, nd we watched peep show on 4od in my room. seen it a million times bt i didnt mind cos i know he loves it. i wanted to move closer to him but not be gay, nd so moved my leg to touch his leg. he didnt say anything so i left it there for a few mins, nd sorta touched his foot a bit with my foot. he didnt do anything back nd then a well funny bit was on peep show where super hans is smoking crack at a wedding, nd alex propr loves it bt he wasnt sayn anything or laughing nd i sat up nd omg he was propr asleep lol. pulln a weird face with his mouth open lol, bt he still looked fit :-P

i laid back down nd more on my side, got well close nd could feel the heat from his bod. got rock hard nd it was pushing on the side of his leg, i just closed my eyes for like a minute nd could feel my heart beating well fast nd sorta hear it beating in my mouth. was soooo hard thought i was gonna cum :-S he moved a tiny bit nd his arm moved off his leg nd touched my leg. omg i propr nearly spunked lol. wanted to kiss him so bad, nd was thinking what to do next, bt then felt all weird nd guilty nd felt bad liked id sorta raped him cos he was asleep nd i shouldnt have pushd my cock onto him :-S i just moved away nd sat up, turned peep show really low so it didnt wake him up. felt a bit bad, nd just paranoid in case he knew what i was doin. didnt sit next to him again, just sat on my chair with my feet on the bed, nd then just watched him for ages. not in a weird way lol.

peppermint

had to get up early cos getn my hair cut at 9. didnt get that much sleep cos em nd matt were well noisy when they got in, shouting and she was singing. couldnt get back to sleep nd then finally got sleepy again nd the sex noises started :-S yak!!! dad stayed at vals so everyone is getn some except for me :-(

matt is up already, so hope he will give me a lift. he made tea for em bt she stressd at him nd sent him back cos she wanted peppermint tea lol. he must fuckn propr love her cos he does anything she wants. mental. he gave me the tea tho :-) tastes like it got 4 sugars tho lol, so she is prob hungover or food poisoning AGAIN.

love me

sooooo tired. work was well slow today :-( feels like ive been working for ever. thers a new guy thats starting on moday nd hes been in today to meet some of the sales ppl. hes called scott, hes pretty fit bt not gay i dont think.

sorta got a bit told off by frank for texting cos its not allowed even tho he didnt mind when i used to work on saturdays. felt a bit bad nd so before matt picked me up i said sorry nd hes like 'dont worry josh, just keep it to lunch times'. next week im deffo gonna get a bit hard nd go into his office nd ask him something nd like keep adjusting it so he sees lol. then he will love me again :-P

wanted to go out tonight bt everyone is doin something or on hols :-( goin to see inception tomorrow with nik nd dan, but wanna go tonight cos it looks well gd.

think matt nd em are goin to oxford nd dad is going to vals, so just gonna be sat here all night bored :-( grrrrrrr

ducks

been to feed the cats this morning nd nicholas left a well funny note, he says hes getn a few ducks but it looked like dicks lol :-P hope he wants me to feed them cos i like ducks and i like money :-D hope pepsi doesnt try and attack them or anything cos he is a bit violent lol

meetin up with kaytee nd jess today, they want to take me shopn. how gay lol. hope they dont want me to help them pick clothes nd stuff. we are gonna have lunch in quod nd she put 'your treat' bt they can fuck off if they think im paying! jess kept tryn me to get jamie to come bt he said no, nd she thinks i havent even asked. why doesnt she just ask if she wants him to come with us ffs girls are mental.

alex sent a pic of the pool at their apartment yesterday nd i could see a bit of his legs in the pic nd i was lookn at it for like an hour cos couldnt sleep last night, nd then i sorta made me have a wet dream that woke me up at like 5 :-S grrrrr, wasnt even nice nd then just laid awake after, miss him so much <3 i sent him a pic of smoothie i made cos he likes stuff like that nd said id make one for him when hes back.

olds and gays

went to brighton yesterday with dad, val, matt and em. at first it was just meant to be us four nd dad said i could take someone so txtd nik to ask him then he shouts up val is coming now so no room for a mate, im like ffs!!! lucky nik couldnt cos i would have looked like a well messer. took ages to drive down, nd vals purfume nearly killed me in the car it was sooo strong nd i kept opening the window nd then em was stressn cos it was messin her hair up grrr.

we had a well good day tho, laid on the beach for ages getn a tan nd checkn out hot guys yum. there was a women next to us who got her massive tits out nd matt was like jizzin in his pants nd looking constantly, think she liked him looking tho lol, but em didnt haha. went in the sea with matt nd he kept tryn to hold me under bt im faster at swimming :-D em didnt go in the sea once nd was a bit moody. she was just reading a book and listening to MY ipod.

had fish nd chips but wasnt that hungry nd it was too hot to eat. got a £60 parking ticket when we went back to the car, had to listen to dad for like 2 hours whinging about it. ffs was seriously thinkn about giving him £60 just to shut up :-S

not doin much today, just lazin outside. dad wants me to cut the grass but its too hot to do anything, nd hes not offering money so no way lol.

been txtn alex again, nd told him about brighton he put 'brighton is for olds and gays lol' which i think is a bit true lol, bt he didnt say anything bad about gays.cant wait for him to come back now, hope he wants to do something when he gets back to ox.

good mood

arghhh nothing to wear in im sooooo late. gonna have to wear shorts nd hope frank doesnt think im takin the piss. alex txt me 3 times in the night nd ive not got credit so cant txt back nd in his last txt he just put '?' nd its just made me upset :-(

matt is in a weird mood cos of em so gonna be awkward in the car :-S he just needs a nice wank to put him in a good mood lol.

hope work goes quick nd hope ppl actually talk to me :-/

rape me

stayed up until 1 txtn alex :-) it wasnt like a propr convo just like saying nice stuff to each other nd compliments nd stuff lol. it was a bit gay. ok it was a lot gay haha.

got up early so i didnt get stressed at, nd then when he went out went back to bed for a bit lol. been outside in the garden getn more of a tan. wanted jamie to come over bt he said hes ill. which prob means hes not got any money for the train nd he doesnt want to say.

bit bored nd so went thru my fone lookn for ppl to text. txt kaytee nd now she is coming over at 3 when she has finished work nd she is brining bex. she said they are gonna get me drunk nd then date rape me lol. im like 'good times lol' :-S hope she doesnt try touchn me up again cos its a bit awkward when i dont get hard :-/

in love

went on friday to see izzy and george, nd we should have been coming back on saturday afternoon bt dad had been drinking nd wouldnt drive so we had to stay again until sunday :-( well annoying nd i asked matt if he would pick me up nd he said yes but then i got a well nasty text from em saying no they wouldnt come get me nd she called me a freak :-(

saturday was gd with izzy nd george cos theyve got a pool nd it was soooooo hot. had to wear some of georges swimmers cos forgot to bring some nd, nd he gave me like the tinyest ones ever was well embarrasing. the water was cold so atleast i didnt get hard lol. me nd izzy were sun bathing for like 3 hours, got a well nice tan :-) got too hot so we laid on towels under a big pear tree nd talked about boys nd cocks for like an hour lol, i was sorta pervn at george everytime he drived in cos when he got out he adjusted his cock... EVERY TIME :-P

was well good chatn to izzy, nd shes well happy that im gay. she said she hasnt told anyone, nd george got changed in front of me nd i saw everything :-P if he knew thers no way he would have done that. he had deffo trimmed his nest cos was well short nd it looked gd. hes got well more hair than me nd its well annoying. he def gave me his old speedos on purpose nd i hated getn out of the pool in case dad or auntie maureen saw, bt didnt mind izzy seeing or george. sorta liked george looking actually lol. when we got dried we shared a towel nd i was using it first nd he took his shorts off nd was talkn about tennis nd just like fully naked :-P its prob cos he goes to a posh boys school nd they prob always do naked stuff, i bet hes done something gay before as well. even when he was dried it was ages before he put his boxers back on.

not doin much today, alex is on holiday now bt he did txt me this morning nd he said its well nice nd he put 'youd love it here alexx' omg hes not done that for soooooooooo long!! know its stupid bt its made me well happy :-) im not gonna like get too gay with him saying like missed u, or putn kisses again nd stuff :-S even tho ive been well sad nd sorta depressed for ages. i think i might be in love with him nd thats why it hurts so much.

all these rules

work wasnt that boring today, nt as bad as last week. i took my mac with me nd went on it at lunch cos otherwise it goes well slow nd everyone else talks about stuff bt not many people talk to me cos im new. frank sat with me for like 5 mins nd just talked about random shit. i thought he might not be that camp when everyone else is there bt omg hes exactly the same lol.

not allowed to text apart from on lunch which is a bit annoyn cos frank wasnt giving out all these rules when it was just me on saturdays :-S today ive been putting invoices on the accounts system then adding up the total to make sure ive done them all properly. its ok, nd better than just stood up shredding for hours. theres one woman thats nice called jean whos in the other office, none of the women in the main office talk to me.

got a lift back with matt nd i gave him 10 towards petrol cos dad said i should. just got home now nd val is here again, shes brought us a juicer which is nice bt nows shes moved everything around in the kitchen, propr taking over :-S

still not seen alex for ages nd think hes goin to italy again on sunday for like 2 weeks :-/

was gonna be goin out with nik nd dan tonight but cba now so gotta think of an excuse. just wanna laze tonight nd watch tv with matt, em is out nd dad nd val are going out for a meal. hope i can get matt a bit drunk :-p