feelin well depressed, had a shit week, nd not heard from alex since wednesday morning. dad had a massive stress with me nd has told frank i cant work any hours until all exams are done. think hes gonna sack me now anyway cos he prob well hates me.
dad has been making me revise in the dining room nd telling me when i can have breaks nd just been a controlling twat. he comes in nd checked on me like very 20 mins nd i got like 99999 questions when he thought id been on my macbook bt i was actually in the toilet.
all week apart from today hes made me get up at 8 nd then start revising nd doin practise questions. not left the house since thursday nd feel like im a prisoner.
jamie called came over randomly on thursday night nd it felt well good to see him, bt after like 45 mins dad came in nd sorta said he had to go nd i felt such a nob, nd it made me feel really sad cos i rememberd how we used to be well gd mates.
just feel a bit lonely nd while hes controlling my life like this its making me feel upset nd doesnt matter how much time i spend revising if im feeln like this in the exams i just wont be able to concentrate.
tried to talk to matt last night nd he says he just wants to keep out of it :-(
my life as gay teenager growing up in oxford. ok, its hardly anne frank, really its just lots of random crap about me & my friends, and stuff about my fave hobby... wanking :-P
About Me
- josh!
- hey ppl, finally got a blog, how cool :-P every name with josh in it was gone, so named it after my favourite toy haha. not sure exactly what to write on this thing, so watch this space. well im josh, i live in summertown in oxford, anything else u wanna no send me a msg.
tipit
if u like my blog id like ur cash :-P hehe life is expensive ok? nd i promise to be a gd boy.
if u wanna give me cash, i well like amazon uk vouchers.
tags
- dad (26)
- alex (22)
- matt (19)
- em (16)
- val (15)
- frank (12)
- gay (12)
- work (10)
- jamie (9)
- cock (8)
- hard (8)
- horny (7)
- hot (7)
- nik (6)
- cum (5)
- kaytee (5)
- oxford (5)
- sops (5)
- depressed (4)
- jizz (4)
- money (4)
- party (4)
- revision (4)
- wank (4)
- blog (3)
- champagne (3)
- dan (3)
- drunk (3)
- exams (3)
- garden (3)
- hair (3)
- jess (3)
- macbook (3)
- nicholas (3)
- pants (3)
- pissed (3)
- rape (3)
- sun (3)
- text (3)
- txt (3)
- becky (2)
- bed (2)
- ben (2)
- bored (2)
- boys (2)
- college (2)
- internet (2)
- kiss (2)
- love (2)
- mc donalds (2)
- sex (2)
- shorts (2)
- sick (2)
- spunk (2)
- upset (2)
- wanking (2)
- wet dream (2)
- apple (1)
- auntie maureen (1)
- bacon (1)
- bank holiday (1)
- beach (1)
- bieber (1)
- brighton (1)
- bum (1)
- cats (1)
- cheney (1)
- chinese (1)
- cocks (1)
- credit (1)
- diary (1)
- ducks (1)
- exam (1)
- facebook (1)
- facejacker (1)
- fuck (1)
- george (1)
- hatty (1)
- holiday (1)
- hug (1)
- ill (1)
- ipod (1)
- izzy (1)
- jeans (1)
- job (1)
- jw (1)
- leamington spa (1)
- legs (1)
- money shopping (1)
- msn (1)
- naked (1)
- peep show (1)
- peppermint (1)
- piss (1)
- porn (1)
- precum (1)
- rob (1)
- ryan (1)
- sea (1)
- shopping (1)
- shower (1)
- snuggle (1)
- socks (1)
- speedos (1)
- spoon (1)
- starbucks (1)
- suck (1)
- summer (1)
- superdry (1)
- swimming (1)
- tax (1)
- tea (1)
- undies (1)
- vodka (1)
- wii (1)
- xmas (1)
38 comments:
your dad is a cool guy josh. I'm guessing these are your GCSEs if so you will thank him in the future. just get through this by imagining the long summer of BBQs and boys in speedos. not long till the end. keep going. pb
ffs get over it.
He doesn't want you to fuck up, left to your own devices you spend all day in bed wanking.
Wasn't the chemistry exam a big enough wake up call ?
Joshy - sounds like hell.
I sure hope a load of laxatives finds its way into his food - would at least give you a laugh!
I think you should go back to matt and say ok I know you want to keep out of it, but I need to have someone I can talk to just like when you bitch about em to me.
tc
J.,
This is one of those "Dad knows best" times. PROMISE -- it's not for much longer. I'd bet Alex is doing the same thing. Probably why you think he's been acting so weird lately.
All over soon. NOW GET IN THERE AND DO YOUR BEST and then everything will be fine -- you'll see.
Josh
I know you're not gonna want to hear this, but you just have to grin and bear it.....
Look, it's only for a few weeks. Your dad doesn't trust you to study unsupervised (and let's face it, he's right!) and he really is worried about your performance. Look, it's not that he wants you to be perfect. But he DOES want you to perform to the best of your ability. That's different. And if you're not preparing for your exams, you're not performing to the best of your ability.
We could go into a long debate about the crappy exam and school system, but the fact is, you're stuck in it right now and you can't change it right now. Maybe you will later when you enter politics.....:)
I'd send a text to all your mates saying that you're looking forward to seeing them all and spending time with them AFTER the exams, but for now you have to knuckle down.
Maybe a special text to Jamie to say how nice it was to spend time together, and hopefully you'll get lots of chances during the summer break.
Hugs and best wishes....
Adi
Hi Josh,
I am really sorry to hear you are going through a rough time. Sure, revision is important, but not to the point of making you a virtual prisoner in your own home!! Demand some free time...
As for worrying about things: relax, take some deep breaths and try not to worry about it. Easy to say, I know... but there's no point making yourself sick from stress. Good luck!
The best thing to do Josh is to embrace the horror lol. It is exam time so forget everything else until they are over (what do you think Alex is doing; studying!) Your world will be back again when exams are done; just let your dad see you studying and make him happy; your dad's responsibility is providing for his family and your responsibility is to get through school with decent marks; and that means sacrificing your social life and fun for a couple of weeks. Frank should understand that your exams have priority and he will be glad to have you back after they are done. Alex will be in a better mood too after exams. Take up the exam challenge Josh and you will feel better.
Well damn, Josh. It doesn't sound like you are having a great time right now. Your depression is because you miss Alex, I think. I guess suggesting that you call him is too obvious? Don't just sit there, mate, and watch a gulf begin to seperate you two. Do something about it!
As to your dad, he is doing what he thinks is best for you. Though as a retired teacher, I can tell you that no one can sit and revise for hours at a time; that is just nonsense. Frequent breaks are needed to keep you fresh. But, I'm not your dad. ;-)
Hang in there, lad. Things will get better.
hold on... after each storm comes a bonanza.
i know its not easy, but maybe it is clever to focus on what you dad wants you to. will make your life lots easier once the exams are thru.
remember, there is a lot of people on this blog hoping the best for you.
You should talk to Alex!
Poor Josh, but hey you need to pass all your exams, its the most important thing because you canoot be working as officeboy ever,remember a person always be alone when there are problems, but the only person that will ever support its your dad, but they arent here for ever. So you need put as your first goal your studies, forget everything for a month, and show every body you are very clever, maybe alex understand that, and he is studying very hard, but remmenber nobody wants make friends with dummies even they are good looking. hugs and study hard. Greatings from Mexico
Well, I know you don't want to hear this, but it is for the best, in the long run. Never mind getting sacked from this job (unlikely) you'll never have any job with no GCSEs.
Just think of the summer spent chilling out, after exams are done with; then college, which = hot boys, new hot boys even. Trust me, it's uphill from here, good times ahead, promise. Big virtual hug, chin up, and count your blessings.
Oh and if you need to have a rant then come on here, or email someone; try not to get into a row, it won't help.
you should really try to find out what's the matter with Alex, maybe ask someone else if they know what's going on.
soon you will be free of this stress, be patient, happy times are around the corner....x
Real sorry to hear you're so down atm why not text Alex and ask him how he's coping with revision an tell him you're struggling, not been out of the house and fed up.
Don't blame your dad too much - he's only thinking of your future - he probably thinks good results = good job and doesn't realise how stressed you are. Try an cheer up - you've loads of people rootin for you. Colin
Tell your dad he is putting too much pressure on you. He want's you to do well in your exams but if he is gonna be too heavy on you it'll have a negative effect.
its only a few days. try and forget everything else until exams are finished and remember that the reason you haven't talked to Alex has nothing to do with u, it just that he's holed up studying for exams as well. it'll all be over soon and all will be back to normal. cheer up and hang in there.
Sounds like the perfect storm of Alex Stress + Exam Stress + Dad Stress. I can't tell you that things will magically get better overnight, but they will get better. The exams will end, and either Alex will get over whatever has made him so distant, or he'll tell you what's bugging him. In the short term though, you might have just to knuckle down and push through the suck. Your dad has your best interests at heart, but it sounds like he's afraid. Overcompensating on the drill sergeant routine is his way of dealing with that fear. You could try talking to him about it - tell him he's freaking you out, and maybe negotiate some breathing room. If you can convince him you're committed to studying without him needing to watch your every move, it might make life more pleasant for both of you. Good luck!
You're upsetting yourself over no reason.
Alex is busy studying for the finals, which you should be doing, too. I doubt Alex is ignoring you – he just want to concentrate on doing well on the finals.
You are depressed because you are keeping the truth from Alex, Matt, Jamie, and all your friends that you have a feeling for Alex. Yes, truth hurts and you need to let it come out soon rather than driving yourself crazy.
Due to many posts where Alex left bread crumbs behinds, they are hints that Alex do have a feeling for you, also. It is a possibility Alex is feeling the same way you are now; worried, stressed, and depressed because he probably do not know if you are interested in him or not.
It is time for you to sit down with Alex and tell him the truth. Yes, it will be awkward at first but give him time and space to make up his mind. He probably wants to be with you or he would rather stay friends, nothing less or more.
Give it a shot, you're brave enough to do this. Your readers have faith in you in doing this for yourself.
Don't take it too hard Josh. It may feel like a bind now, but if you revise hard now, it will do you good for the next 50 years.
Try not to let your Dad's pressure bug you - my Dad was always trying to interfere with my schoolwork, especially in Science when he didn't have clue!
Once the exams are out of the way, we can get back to the serious work of winning Alex back... Hugs
Hope you're feeling a bit less pissed off with the world today Josh. Dad really is only trying to help you to do as well as you can in your GCSEs - which are pretty important - and I am certain Frank will understand too - he'd want any one who worked for him to have got as good grades as possible.
More importantly I suspect that Alex is feeling pre-exam pressures too and that's why things have been a bit odd between you these last days. All your posts show that you are important to him - even if neither of you is yet able to show it to the other, specially in the way you'd like him to show you :)
*hugs*
John
here's what u do----In the pool hall it's called a reverse move. u call Alex and say u don't seem yourself right now so I just wanted to tell u that I have heard a rumor that u might be gay and I wanted to tell u that I'm your friend no matter what.---Let's get this thing rolling little man.--He might say yeah I am ---or shit I heard that about u.
No-one who recalls the ludicrous fuss your Dad made over the smashed bottle of olive oil will be surprised by these latest antics. Does he not realise there are always the retakes in the autumn ffs?
some people are just born stupid and no amount of studying will help.
got bored of all the 'well its best in the long run' responses joshy - yeah it might be best for some people but different people learn in different ways. I didnt do much study in class, and did a bit of panic revision just before each exam - my results were good, my current job is excellent. Horses for courses or so they say.
Forcing you to revise to your dads Nazi program is more likely to make you say oh fuck it when it comes to the exams. Josh's dad has the right intention, but needs to look at balance and whats the best way for Josh.
Josh - my hugs are with you buddy, this will all be over soon - text alex for a bit of moral support, I am sure he will be responsive.
Good luck
tc
just noticed last comment - 'yourmum' do you have to be such a c***?
this is your well deserved punishment for skipping lessons, my son.
Hope the exams are going ok
hugs
Sorry you're feeling so badly, Josh.
At least we know one thing for sure; there is no doubt that your father is related to Auntie Maureen.
Hugs
post up something we are all worried and really nosy. To quote you Grrr...
Joshie the only thing you can do during stressful times like this is to wank it and wank it hard! Shoot a major creamy load for me! Josh I think you're cute...
wow i wish my dad did this for me, we never even speak. I did crap in my GCSE's. It sounds really horrible what he's doing and unfair like his imprisoning u or summut but its really worthwhile and beneficial, you gotta be in the frame of mind that the GCSES are really, really important because they really are, So many doors are closed if u have crap qualifications. its important that you get the most out of school, great gcse etc. So yeah.
Hi Josh, Hope you're ok. Keep your chin up and the exams will soon be over and the pressure will be off you (and Alex) and i'm sure eveything will be fine. Take care x
Tough week, Josh. Tell us you got through it and things are looking up?
It's always a very hard thing to be your age, but this time with the world so fucked up it's even worse, But always look for the silver lining!
Okay, seriously worried now. It's been soo long since you've posted.
I hope things are going well. Positive thoughts all around bro.
Josh,
Hope all is going well with the exams, job and Alex. And hope you have time to post again soon.
fb
Josh Please update!!!!
It must be a tough time for you, Josh, although I see that you're still publishing comments, so haven't had an accident or anything. Look after yourself. I am thinking of you. xx
Post a Comment