got like 999999 messages from u guys, nd i know theres loads i havent replied to, but i read them all, nd it sorta makes me feel nice that there are so many ppl that think about me and want me to be happy.
so much stuff has happened this summer and its been the hardest thing ever in my life. ive still been blogging most days but im not yet ready to press 'publish'. ive felt so sad its made me vom, ive not been eating or sleeping properly and i propr look like a druggie smack head.
basically alex isnt gay and he told his mum everything and she phoned dad about me. he knows everything and thinks its just a phase and im not really gay. ive been to a counsellor to talk and it was ok, but now ive got to start going every week. hes hardly saying much to me but is treating me differently and said i cant have my toothbrush in the cabinet next to theirs :( he prob thinks ive got aids or something just from thinking about getting bummed.
ffs he told matt and em everything as well, so they propr think im a perv and a freak :-( matt has talked to me loads tho and he told me on sunday night that he always sorta knew and that i should be gay if i want to be and not let anyone persuade me to be striaght. i dont know anymore and i just feel shit and dad is giving me stress about carrying on the family surname and saying how upset mum would have been :-(
ive not spoken to alex for 29 days cos his mum told me he will contact me again when hes ready and that he was bullied at his old school for 2 years cos people called him gay and hes not actually gay.
starting at college doing a diploma in information technology and guess its a new start, nd think thats what i need. dad made me leave my job with frank but ive applied at some shops. got fit new hair today in brothers, and matt bought me some new jeans and two tops for college, new me :)
ive ignored my friends all summer cos of this and they prob all hate me.
sorry if ive dissapointed u guys as well as everyone else :/
joshxx
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209 comments:
«Oldest ‹Older 201 – 209 of 209Josh,
How good does it feel to know that so many people really seem to care about you? Almost all of the comments here are positive and most of them seem to be from individual posters. That means you have the equivalent of more than the whole of your year at school wishing you well. That's quite an achievement and something I wish I had when I was your age. I know we're just names and logins but really, WOW.
Good move on deleting those old posts and comments, very wise. I hope you kept a copy for yourself so you can look back in a few years and see what it was like when you were younger, and see all the love you had.
I think he commited suicide...let's hope not, but I'm kind of pretty sure he did. If not physically, at least cybernetically
omg josh plz update i keep checking ur page everyday waiting =( i hope things are better.
Hi Josh, Hope everything is ok with you. When are going to start blogging again, if ever.
Take Care. D
I hope yr feelin a bit better dude. come around to my place and we'll spend the night watching every episode of Inbetweeners, that'll make u laugh. :) xx
This blog is dead!!!
I'm not sure i understand deleting three years of blogs and leaving 2010 if the aim is to remove "damaging" material. Lots of "gay" stuff left that mentions several of your friends, Josh. I wish it was all still here, and that you didn't give two shits about what anyone thought or who might come across the blog. But, like everything else lately, there is probably more to the story than we all know, so I guess you have your reasons.
Whatever they are, hope it all works out and that you come back to the blog when you are ready.
Wow what a great Blog
220 comments thats by far the most I have ever saw on a blog. Well done Josh hope you get back to blogging soon
Wow, sounds like a tough time for you. It cant be easy being outed by someone you love and trust, but stay strong and at least it is over now. Ignor your dad, he is just being selfsh and naive if he thinks it is "just a phase", so the only person he is fooling is himself.
But at least i know everything has worked out for the better now :)
Jack xx
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