bored again today :-( told kaytee nd nik i didnt wanna go out today, nd just made excuses, cos i thought id see alex nd wanted us to do something on our own. he went to his dads yesterday, nd even tho he said hed be back hes stayed over :-( ffs hes just had like 2 weeks on holiday with hin, whys he wanna go nd stay with him already!!!!! hes txt this morn nd said hes def back tmrw, bt ive got work so wont be able to see him until the evening :-(
got a bit paranoid nd tried to guess the password on alexs gmail. feel bad now even tho i didnt get in. just feel a bit like he could be laying about goin to his dads, even tho i know hes prob not.
dont want another day sat up here on the internet all day wanking. soooooooo boring.
gonna go nd see if nicholas is in.
my life as gay teenager growing up in oxford. ok, its hardly anne frank, really its just lots of random crap about me & my friends, and stuff about my fave hobby... wanking :-P
About Me
- josh!
- hey ppl, finally got a blog, how cool :-P every name with josh in it was gone, so named it after my favourite toy haha. not sure exactly what to write on this thing, so watch this space. well im josh, i live in summertown in oxford, anything else u wanna no send me a msg.
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16 comments:
He's probably got a girlfriend.
Josh boy
How's things? you still not got into Alex's Boxers?. Right that's it your 16 and legal now so your next free weekend get your arse up here to Glasgow a know a few wee sweeties that will give you what you need. And enough stories to fill your blog for a month
Eddie xxxx
Josh, you are wasting your time sat at home waiting for something that in all reality won't happen.
Alex isn't going to go from mate to boyfriend in a matter of days/weeks. I think when you are gay it is difficult to imagine why its so hard for somebody to like you the way you like them, but the reality is that straight people find it pretty difficult to see it from your perspective.
Don't waste your holiday sat at home wanking, get out and live. You need to enjoy yourself, have some adventures, experiment and take some risks. If Alex is gay then he will see what your doing and then things will happen or not. Seize the day and don't look back.
dude, i know you love him and everything, but trying get into his email is a little far
yeah, don't do that. Breaking into someone's email is the type of thing you'll regret later. You just said that you yourself made up stuff to avoid others--sometimes we all need some alone time.
Its all getting a bit desperate.
You need to go out get pissed, play about a bit, and wiat to see if Alex is still your friend.
The more experience you have the better. Don't miss out on the opportunities. I want to hear on Saturday morning you have been out Friday night with a friend and had some fun,or at least tried something new. Go get em.
Always Horny Gayboy gives good advice lol. Don't bet all the goods on Alex; there are lots of teen gay young guys around for you. I remember some good times with slim guys who were not that good looking but were well endowed. Look around and give Alex some space. Lots of summer left yet. bfn - Wayne :)
...Yeh I'm sure no one's ever tried to hack into your gmail....
It's dangerous what you are feeling now. You reminds me much of myself. Just be sure that he is not attached to you. Jealousy will kils everything. Just make sure you are aware realistically he is not with you. Though it's weird on some occasions he kinda reports to you. That's already wonderful don't you think? My experience are axactly the same. He is also straight and he kinda felt he wanna reports to me like alex does to you and well things happen and i screwed it up by my furious jealousy. Think again it's unnecessary and it may have been better. Kill the jealousy Josh.
I can be in Oxford in 2 hours and I'll beef this nonsense out of you.
I'd mostly agree with what the others are saying. All your eggs in one basket, and all that. Of course, the whole feelings beyond wanting his bum rather complicates that matter, perhaps? Eh, having fun with random people for the sheer joy of it isn't for everyone, to be sure, but it sure might relieve some of your tension.
The logical truth of the matter, Josh, is that in order to meet other gay teens, you are going to have to tell some people you are gay. So, as long as you are telling people, why not just start with Alex?
Alternatively, since your cousin already knows, why not ask her if she knows any gay boys at her school or could ask around for you. That way you you could get "out" there without having to expose yourself to your owm friends - yet! Because some day you will need to.
Either way, don't give up on Alex completely. Spend as much time with him as you can, but don't pass up other plans waiting for him either. He knows Nik and Katy, so if he had called today, he could have hung out with all of you.
Josh,
I wasted 4 years of high school being in love with my best mate... even tho I knew he was straight...hope better for you.
Josh, Josh, Josh. This love thing is really screwing you up. Don't worry I'm sure most of us have been there before. I don't think sitting in your room trying to find ways to spy on Alex or constantly fixating on him (wank wise) is healthy. If he is straight you will fuck up your relationmship as he will see you getting weird but won't know why(is that happening already?). If he is gay won't it be best for you to get on with your life and slowly let him know the details as you do new things, that way you can gauge his response and persue your desire or make a decison based on it.
Get out there see whats available. Surely you get hundreds of offers to get out and see the town, either with female mates or male, surely a dabble here and there can only improve your state of mind and allow you to feel comfortable with your sexuality before telling everybody else.
Friday / Saturday night in oxford.
We want to here great things.
Have fun.
Josh,
You only live once. I know you're young but you don,t want to look back and think 'shit that was some good times missed.' this summer should be about experimenting and finding who you are. Alex isn't going anywhere and will be available when he is ready and sees the real Josh. If you tell him your gay now or just get on with being yourself he will see you for who you are and like it or not. Don't sit worrying, it won't be as bad as you think whatever happens. Life tends to be like that on reflection.
Go get some. (now lol)
Obsessing is not always nice! =)
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